In the past, I didn’t think much about back dating the occasional post a couple of days because I felt it should have that particular date on it. This website has always been a catalogue of my thoughts as they arrive, so using that method only seemed natural. Some readers may have even noticed. However, aside from writing some full length reviews for Clickable Culture, I spent the better part of the Fall in an unproductive spree that resulted in an unplanned hiatus of sorts. In between Real Life™, and not wanting to do much else after coming home from work except turn my brain off (read: World of Warcraft), I have amassed a pile of old entries that were started with the best of intentions and never finished. These aren’t just reviews either – they were timely posts that I just never got around to putting online. I could have easily just linked the stuff as I do in my sidebar, but at that point I may as well just give up. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, it’s about god damned time I got things back in order.

So over the next couple of weeks if you find an article or review you swore wasn’t there the last time you checked, you’re probably right. To everyone who’s still reading, thanks for being patient.

In the past month, the following things have transpired in no particular order:

• I contemplated shutting down this site. Lack of time, motivation, and overall frustration with not being able to finish my ideas left me feeling like continuing would just be wasting my effort.
• That didn’t last long though. I soon realized that the gaming blogosphere, and weblogs in general are not worth getting worked up over. I should have learned in the past two years that with such a low point of entry crappy blogs only propogate, they don’t disappear.
• I spent a lot of time training (and re-training) our new puppy. I’ve exercised as much restraint as one man possibly can in avoiding the posting of photos, so I figure this small mention should be good enough in staving off the desire to share my dog with the entire Internet.
• Shortly after the last post we lost our cable connection (including internet and TV) to the dog. See, she thought it would be cool if she severed the incoming coax cable to our apartment. It didn’t matter though, because at that point we were getting ready to move again.
• We packed for, and executed, another move – to our final destination in Markham. I feel more at home than I ever have in this brand new house. A brief note to U-Haul: when one reserves a truck two weeks in advance, one expects to get it the day of said reservation, and the size of truck reserved. One does not want to wait in line for an hour and then be given an unmeetable deadline to return it. Also: Bell Canada lost a staggering number of customers in our new neighborhood due to their contractors being on strike. I’m sure FCI Broadband thanks you.
• I didn’t take the news that it would be impossible for me to run the Battlefield 2 demo very well.
• Having minimal access to the internet has ejected me so far out of the gaming news loop that I’m having a hard time determining what’s actually worthy of my attention now that I’m up and running again. Though it is the summer, and let’s be honest here: there are really only four months of the year that publishers and news outlets really care about.
• Baten Kaitos is actually pretty good, despite essentially being a direct adaptation of Tales of Symphonia with cards.
• I purchased and fully consumed Billy Corgan’s new album, TheFutureEmbrace. I had actually started to write a review, but the underlying tone of disappointment left me feeling depressed and unwilling to finish. A good effort, but when I went to the concert on July 2nd I think I was more enamored with the thought of seeing Billy Corgan live, than seeing those songs performed. You lose something when your band consists of a computer, fake drums, and a scary looking backup singer. Though the second opening act, Doris Henson, kicked the crowd into high gear after the abysmal performance of The Crimea. Doris Henson reminded me a bit of Treble Charger in their early days; too bad it’s not 1995. They might have been big.
• I was extremely close to cancelling my World of Warcraft account. After not playing it for roughly four weeks without any mental or physical signs of withdrawal, I thought myself free of its barbed tendrils. This is not true. All it took was thinking about starting a new character, which I will be doing in about five minutes.

In a couple of days things should be back to normal and my writing can resume in earnest. Real life keeps me busy, but the one thing I’ve determined during my time off is that giving up this website would leave me incredibly bored.

let me out

Those who know me know I love gaming. I could play video games all day long, and I would happily relay these things through writing. As I’ve known from the beginning, maintaining a weblog to some standard of decency is tough. I always said I would pack it up and move on once it started to feel like a job.

I’m not going to continue kidding myself. This website is a job.

It’s partially my own fault, because instead of writing short, link-and-quote type posts I’d rather talk about the larger issue, or write a full article about a game. The former would certainly be easier at this point, but I’m not going to settle for that. There are enough sites out there that are happy to quote other people’s work and pass it off as writing. Good for them.

I said in last year’s year in review that this website would be more like a collection of articles as opposed to a “weblog”, a term I never really made amends with. I never wanted to obey some hidden schedule and feel obligated to post regularly, but as I continue to gain readership these feelings are unavoidable. I’m flattered that I’m on the list of someone’s daily reads or regular source of information. I’m glad I could share my passion with fellow gamers or people who cared to read about it.

I continue to harbour some kind of grudge against the “blogosphere”, too, which is another phenomenon that I would rather disassociate myself with especially in light of recent events. In the past year the number of gaming weblogs has increased to the point where it’s becoming harder to distinguish between them. They all want to be the voice of gaming in this grassroots effort to take back control from the ubiquitous gaming media empire. They all link and quote each other. They revel in their independence and ingenuity. This all sounds too familiar, though, and is the reason I hated weblogs to begin with. I don’t want to be, or consider myself, a part of that.

For those that have supported me since the beginning I appreciate your kindness. This was always a hobby, a side project that allowed me to articulate some thoughts about my favorite pastime. Little did I know this would actually have an effect on people. It’s a weird feeling, and never something I wanted when I started writing.

Forgive me for sounding like I’m about to give up, becuase that’s not my intent. I have more than enough ideas and half-written articles to keep me updating this site for some time to come. I just ask you to understand I’m simply a guy with a website, who occasionally updates and talks about games.

Here’s to another year at toase.net.

tending to the sores that stay

On my way home today I reflected on the fact that I had missed the release of SWAT 4 this week, blaming it entirely on my preoccupation with all things World of Warcraft. As I made my way down the street to our apartment, I noticed an extremely long lineup of police cruisers parked at the side of the street, complete with an EMS truck on standby. As I got closer, I saw an eight-man SWAT team standing on the grass in front of a townhouse complex across the street from our building.

My first reaction was that this was some kind of sign, a portent to remind me that I should be playing what will probably be the tactical shooter of the year. Amidst thoughts like, “that body armour looks awesome,” and “check out those helmets and headsets,” I was completely lost in the moment. I was lucky I didn’t hit any of the gawkers lining the curbs that were trying to see what was going on.

This confusion of gaming and reality disturbed me, because when the thoughts had passed I came to the stunning realization that I live here.

The first, of course, being the inception of this website.

I once made a habit of sneering at anyone in possession of an iPod. They seem like such a fashion accessory, the owners flaunting them like it was some sort of status symbol. I laughed when the flashmugging site went online, and the subsequent downturn in the number of white earbuds I saw on the street. Forget subscribing to Apple’s school of over designed hardware – I wanted a Nomad Zen NX.

My flimsy shell of rebellion was swiftly shattered by my in-laws this weekend, who surprised me with a gift from Hong Kong – a 6 GB iPod mini. Something I never expected, because while I was over there I specifically avoided this type of technology because it was too much of a temptation (and still way too expensive). So now I join the ranks of the MP3 player elite, ashamed to be counted among this unstoppable marketing force. Though on the same token, eternally grateful for such a generous gift. I hear that the visions of Avril Lavigne t-shirt wearing high school students rocking out to their Minis eventually subside. Mostly.

After opening the obnoxiously arty packaging and rubbing my body with the deliciously sleek, silvery device, I decided to try it out. Apple loves to make their hardware completely idiot proof, but when someone other than an idiot wants to know how it works or configure the shit out of it, things tend to happen.

I remember downloading and installing iTunes when it became available for Windows. This was shortly after iPods became usable with Windows, and was considered a kind of watershed for digital music. I’ve always wanted to replace WinAmp with something less, well, WinAmp and figured that was the answer. Little did I know I was basically downloading Windows Media Player designed by Apple, and uninstalled the damned thing a day later. It had an interface that was smooth and appealing to the eye. In fact, it made sure to maintain the design conventions carried over from Mac OS. But what it didn’t tell you was what it was doing to your meticulously organized digital music library in the background. iTunes loves to make you think its doing you a favour, but it’s really just an annoyance dressed up in brushed metal. I have a 6 GB portable storage device, and the only way to use it is through that blasted program.

Loading songs onto my iPod mini was effortless, but I noticed that most of the ID3 tags were completely off (my own fault). The iPod onboard menu automatically organizes your songs according to album, artist, genre, etc., so this is pretty important if you expect to find a specific song to listen to. I can’t stand the singles-driven music culture that MP3s players foster, so for albums, track numbers are doubly important. Otherwise you’re listening to The Wall in alphabetical order, and suddenly “Another Brick in the Wall” Parts 1 to 3 are back to back and completely lose all their meaning. Adding or changing any of this information in iTunes will only update your library database, and not the MP3 file attributes itself – for that you have to “convert” the ID3 tags first. This made me constantly refer back to Windows Explorer and my beautiful hierarchical folder structure to correct them manually. Of course, this will only affect those that get tired of iTunes’ sluggish response and wish to use their old MP3 player. Custom playlists are easily creatable, and an “On the Go” function on the iPod itself will allow you to create playlists on the fly. I found that especially handy if I wanted to listen to a few albums in succession.

In the iPod’s Extras menu, you have the ability to store “To Do” lists, text files, contacts, and sync with iCal (if you have the program). This is a great idea! It’s not like any of this stuff takes up space. The coolest feature outside the obvious music playing one is the games. In this age of gadget-philia, everything must have games on it to be useful. The iPod mini sports Brick, Parachute, Music Trivia, and Solitaire. Solitaire definitely has the best graphics. I felt it was my actual hand on screen moving those cards. Brick is that age old classic Arkanoid dressed way, way down, but it’s fun to use the magic touchpad. I don’t know how often I’d play that one in public though, because it would defeat the purpose of wearing shitty headphones.

It’s hard to believe I can put half of my music collection on this thing, because in reality I doubt I’d ever make it through the playlist in my entire life. I think knowing that I have this capability makes this feel comforting, even though iTunes is essentially tying my hands.

as you claw the thin ice