The Future of Tales of a Scorched Earth

I have not played a game in exactly seven months.

Well, that's not entirely true. I should probably specify that I haven't played a console or PC game in seven months. I've gamed on my Treo 650 and my video iPod. I spent all of 15 minutes with Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. But does it count?

To be honest, I don't really miss it all that much. Life is busy with the little one, and I now know that time actually can pass faster. Changing responsibilities at work and at home has left me with very little spare time, and even less of a desire to sit at my computer and have to install and learn a game, and possibly squeeze in a play session. It doesn't feel right.

Nevertheless, I keep coming back to this place and looking at the last time I updated it. While I like writing for the Cultural Gutter, I don't really consider those "updates" in the purest sense, because I'm writing for someone else. After two more articles I will no longer be writing there anyway.

I recently felt the urge to write about games like I used to, but I haven't played any that provide suitable inspiration. Well, except perhaps MoonFighter, a devilishly enjoyable exercise in navigating extremely basic physics. It is on my Treo.

I missed the holiday season, and the post-holiday season. My sister and her finance have a Wii that I haven't touched yet (but desperately want to). Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is on Xbox Live Arcade. Computer Games Magazine has died a premature death and I never submitted a feature. I don't recognize the shelves of my local electronics retailers anymore. I have no idea what games people are talking about. The only newsworthy item I can relate to is the release of S.T.A.L.K.E.R., which made me laugh because I had written a preview for the game to be posted on my site in 2003. It has been getting decent reviews. I may even play it.

I don't want to abandon Tales of a Scorched Earth completely, but I'm having trouble approaching what I'm going to do with it. I always said I prefer writing substance than linking and quoting, and that's not going to change. I have also come to the realization that I liked writing about games more than I did playing them, because it is a form of entertainment that is still emerging and being shaped more by the people that play them than the media that reports on it. I have also come to the understanding that this is an integral part of my life, and harder than I thought to separate myself from. I hope to be returning within the next few weeks as my life approaches a semblance of equilibrium.

One thing I've learned from doing more reading than writing in the past seven months: bad writing isn't just a boil on the ass of game journalism. It is everywhere and it is inescapable. Good criticism is mostly forgotten or buried under the piles of readable, yet completely innocuous commentary that people are paid for. As ridiculous as it sounds, weblogs are still providing better entertainment be they inane or thought-provoking. As much as I hate the idea of them, they are a fair reflection of society at large. They are unconventional, they are brutal, they are sometimes (?) completely misinformed - but they approach the sort of verisimilitude you would expect from a crowd of like minded individuals. At least one thing hasn't changed.

now entering gamer parenthood

On August 30th at 7:37 pm I became a father to a beautiful baby girl. She definitely takes after my wife.

After nine months of waiting, I finally met the little person that was growing inside my wife. The biology of pregnancy is quite amazing when you think about it - and while the most well-meaning people will often try and scare you with stuff that can go wrong, or things your wife should be eating, or the right time to buy a crib - I constantly fell back on the advice of our prenatal class instructor: this is supposed to work.

As an expectant parent, everyone tells you it's this huge life changing experience that you will never forget for as long as you live, and there isn't anything else out there that comes close to the way parenting enriches your life. Alongside the incessant advice-giving, I have to admit I was completely skeptical of the gravity of the event to come. I really had no idea how wrong I could be.

I was there for everything. I saw the birth. And as much as the Life network and the movies shown at the hospital try to prepare you for what to expect, there's really no replacement for actually witnessing it. Yes there is blood and gore and pain and the squeezing of hands and all that other stuff people love to mention when talking about childbirth, but none of it matters when you see that tiny human come into the world.

From that moment on priorities change. They have to. For the last two weeks I've been learning to be a parent. Dealing with crying jags. Changing diapers at 3 a.m. I have begun to make lists. Things that I have to do, things that I should do, and things that I would like to do. Everything related to the baby is in the first list. Housework (and sometimes feeding ourselves!) ends up in the second list. Gaming, and everything related to my computer, has been in the last category, if that.

At first I was a little uneasy about the lifestyle change. Like everyone else who has grown up in a generation where education, career and technology are everything, it was very easy for me to push the idea of raising a family aside for the time being. When my wife and I got married we both knew we wanted children…eventually. After we moved into the new house, we started thinking about it seriously. Just in time for Christmas, we found out we would be parents.

Now I have to find a new balance. And it doesn't bother me that much. I have to admit I've watched a lot of T.V., more than I have in the last five years combined. Commercials still mostly suck, daytime television is for the unemployed (bad movies galore and every commercial break is an ad for going back to school), and in the evenings I've watched the Red Sox go from struggling ball club to a full-on end-of-season collapse. I'm often used as a pillow for our little one's sleeping arrangements, leaving me pretty much incapacitated for most of the day. While this sedentary lifestyle may not be for me, I know it gets better.

It's exciting to watch this little person sneeze for the first time, or grab my finger, or vomit all over my wife's back. I watch in amazement as our golden retriever tries to comfort our baby with a drool-caked toy, or the way she is always sleeping wherever the baby is. It's been so much fun, I've pretty much forgotten about everything else. The best part is that baby has no idea if we're doing anything "wrong"; they have nothing to compare to. It's very reassuring.

Things may slow down here for a while, but as I find equilibrium within this new life production should return to normal. I may even start polishing off some of my forgotten unfinished reviews to maintain some semblance of an update schedule. In the meantime I'll game whenever I have an appropriate opportunity.

Last year I shared the fact that I got a dog with the entire internet. I battled my most primal urges to post a photo, out of fear of becoming that kind of weblog. This time is different.

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year three

Indulge me as I embark on my yearly retrospective.

As most long time readers know, if there's anything I want out of this website it's thoughtful discussion on games. And I have to admit that requiring commenters to register has ensured that - for the most part. I've also learned that it's almost impossible for me to write short posts. They just feel...incomplete. I love the details. In some cases I'm sure I've bored someone to tears before they even get a chance to comment. But that's beside the point.

Allow me to share some observations and commentary after writing a gaming weblog over the past three years:

• A question every weblogger, not just a games weblogger, has to ask themselves: Do you like to write, or do you like attention? This is kind of a rhetorical question. Everyone who has a website wants attention. Otherwise it wouldn't be there. The important thing to remember is that this need for approval is kept under control. Let the content speak for itself. Producing content for someone else to read can be a really gratifying experience. It can also be an extremely gratuitous one. If you're selling adspace, I'm pretty sure you're going with option #2. But don't expect anyone to take your opinion seriously once the steady commentary becomes incessant droning for clickthroughs. I'd like to think that this surge of interest in games writing over the past year has done well to promote sharing the love of the hobby, while taking it under serious consideration in intelligent discussion. But I don't think it's working - there's too much antagonism towards print media. It sucks, I get it. So do most high profile gaming sites. There's also some serious backlash for the games weblogging community. It's annoying. Let's move on and talk about games.

• Never apologize for a lack of updates. Unless you're being paid for it. But then you should be apologizing to whoever hired you that is paying for you to produce content. Not your readers who are consuming it for free. I keep seeing this phenomenon. I'm pretty sure I've done it once or twice in the past. I have no idea why. There are hundreds of gaming weblogs out there. The news will be picked up somewhere else - it's not a big deal. If you have something interesting to say, sit on it. Make it better. Chances are some correction will be issued in the next couple of days anyway and you don't look like so many other twitch bloggers. There's really no need to post something if you have nothing to report. You have a life. It's ok. Posting something about not posting is insulting to the reader who expects real content.

• The siren call of a new release. Everyone feels it. A new game is out and we all want to be the first ones to report on it. The big gaming websites already had a leg up – they've been playing a gold master copy for weeks. But weblogs are (theoretically) different because they have a unique opinion that doesn't necessarily follow a standard outline of the game's features. It's important to have your own opinion – it's what makes weblogs interesting to read. But I find that some of them get caught up in carrying the hype. They don't want to seem like the party crasher. They don't trust their own opinion of the game and seek validation by joining the crowd. I've seen it time and again. Then a month or two later the "real" reviews start pouring in, saying the game was overhyped or isn't nearly as good as everyone first thought. It's a vicious cycle. Allow your thoughts to congeal. Take some time to formulate a cohesive argument. Take advantage of the format. Maybe it is that good, and you want to explain what makes it great. I absolutely cannot stomach reading reviews that are unsubstantiated, or are clearly rushed to simply get something out there. It's not doing anyone any favours, and carelessly squanders the concept of having a weblog that answers to no one.

• The Slashdot effect. Slashdot used to be a great place to get breaking tech news and decent commentary from the community. Not anymore, because it's competing with a hundred other sites doing the same thing. Similarly, the majority of game blogs seem to link to stuff with a quick opinion and let the comments section pick up the details. Which is fine, if the proprietors don't mind being interchangeable with each other.

• MMORPGs will ruin your life. Obviously an exaggeration and nothing to do with weblogging, but there's some truth to it. I played World of Warcraft on and off for 10 months before quitting in Februrary. It's a good game for a while, as long as you understand that nothing else in your life will matter. The social aspect is great - if you don't mind spending all of your spare time in the game. Trying to level just so you can quest with friends or guildmates is a huge pain in the ass. I'd rather play at my own pace. Though at that point it's a lonely experience, and I might as well be playing Oblivion. Despite what people may think, this game model is not going to change. It makes money and satisfies most of the customers that aren't screaming on the official forums. And that's ok - I just won't be playing.

• Fun fact: Most of what you read here starts out on actual paper. I keep a notebook accessible whenever possible, especially when playing a game. It makes it easier to remember points to visit in detail. The worst thing about coming up with a great topic to write about is having no place to record it.

• I enjoy writing full length articles. So much that I've accumulated way too many of them that are still sitting in an unfinished state, most of them reviews. Golden Sun, Knights of the Old Republic, Spider Man 2, Tales of Symphonia, Fire Emblem, Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, Astro Boy: Omega Factor, Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance, Metroid Prime 2, Baten Kaitos, Brothers in Arms, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, F.E.A.R... the list goes on, unfortunately. But I don't have a problem with that. Some will see completion "when they're done" (to borrow from our beloved industry), and some will probably remain as collections of text from a time where my heart was in the right place but the writing just wasn't there.
  

So I continue to write when I feel like it, about games I have played, articles I have read or media I have consumed while trying to maintain a level of quality that doesn't make people feel like they're wasting their time. My only hope is that I can keep this up for three more years. Because it isn't getting any easier.

a warning about backblogging

In the past, I didn't think much about back dating the occasional post a couple of days because I felt it should have that particular date on it. This website has always been a catalogue of my thoughts as they arrive, so using that method only seemed natural. Some readers may have even noticed. However, aside from writing some full length reviews for Clickable Culture, I spent the better part of the Fall in an unproductive spree that resulted in an unplanned hiatus of sorts. In between Real Life™, and not wanting to do much else after coming home from work except turn my brain off (read: World of Warcraft), I have amassed a pile of old entries that were started with the best of intentions and never finished. These aren't just reviews either - they were timely posts that I just never got around to putting online. I could have easily just linked the stuff as I do in my sidebar, but at that point I may as well just give up. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, it's about god damned time I got things back in order.

So over the next couple of weeks if you find an article or review you swore wasn't there the last time you checked, you're probably right. To everyone who's still reading, thanks for being patient.

a fickle fascination

In the past month, the following things have transpired in no particular order:

• I contemplated shutting down this site. Lack of time, motivation, and overall frustration with not being able to finish my ideas left me feeling like continuing would just be wasting my effort.

• That didn't last long though. I soon realized that the gaming blogosphere, and weblogs in general are not worth getting worked up over. I should have learned in the past two years that with such a low point of entry crappy blogs only propogate, they don't disappear.

• I spent a lot of time training (and re-training) our new puppy. I've exercised as much restraint as one man possibly can in avoiding the posting of photos, so I figure this small mention should be good enough in staving off the desire to share my dog with the entire Internet.

• Shortly after the last post we lost our cable connection (including internet and TV) to the dog. See, she thought it would be cool if she severed the incoming coax cable to our apartment. It didn't matter though, because at that point we were getting ready to move again.

• We packed for, and executed, another move - to our final destination in Markham. I feel more at home than I ever have in this brand new house. A brief note to U-Haul: when one reserves a truck two weeks in advance, one expects to get it the day of said reservation, and the size of truck reserved. One does not want to wait in line for an hour and then be given an unmeetable deadline to return it. Also: Bell Canada lost a staggering number of customers in our new neighborhood due to their contractors being on strike. I'm sure FCI Broadband thanks you.

• I didn't take the news that it would be impossible for me to run the Battlefield 2 demo very well.

• Having minimal access to the internet has ejected me so far out of the gaming news loop that I'm having a hard time determining what's actually worthy of my attention now that I'm up and running again. Though it is the summer, and let's be honest here: there are really only four months of the year that publishers and news outlets really care about.

• Baten Kaitos is actually pretty good, despite essentially being a direct adaptation of Tales of Symphonia with cards.

• I purchased and fully consumed Billy Corgan's new album, TheFutureEmbrace. I had actually started to write a review, but the underlying tone of disappointment left me feeling depressed and unwilling to finish. A good effort, but when I went to the concert on July 2nd I think I was more enamored with the thought of seeing Billy Corgan live, than seeing those songs performed. You lose something when your band consists of a computer, fake drums, and a scary looking backup singer. Though the second opening act, Doris Henson, kicked the crowd into high gear after the abysmal performance of The Crimea. Doris Henson reminded me a bit of Treble Charger in their early days; too bad it's not 1995. They might have been big.

• I was extremely close to cancelling my World of Warcraft account. After not playing it for roughly four weeks without any mental or physical signs of withdrawal, I thought myself free of its barbed tendrils. This is not true. All it took was thinking about starting a new character, which I will be doing in about five minutes.
  

In a couple of days things should be back to normal and my writing can resume in earnest. Real life keeps me busy, but the one thing I've determined during my time off is that giving up this website would leave me incredibly bored.

let me out

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year two

Those who know me know I love gaming. I could play video games all day long, and I would happily relay these things through writing. As I've known from the beginning, maintaining a weblog to some standard of decency is tough. I always said I would pack it up and move on once it started to feel like a job.

I'm not going to continue kidding myself. This website is a job.

It's partially my own fault, because instead of writing short, link-and-quote type posts I'd rather talk about the larger issue, or write a full article about a game. The former would certainly be easier at this point, but I'm not going to settle for that. There are enough sites out there that are happy to quote other people's work and pass it off as writing. Good for them.

I said in last year's year in review that this website would be more like a collection of articles as opposed to a "weblog", a term I never really made amends with. I never wanted to obey some hidden schedule and feel obligated to post regularly, but as I continue to gain readership these feelings are unavoidable. I'm flattered that I'm on the list of someone's daily reads or regular source of information. I'm glad I could share my passion with fellow gamers or people who cared to read about it.

I continue to harbour some kind of grudge against the "blogosphere", too, which is another phenomenon that I would rather disassociate myself with especially in light of recent events. In the past year the number of gaming weblogs has increased to the point where it's becoming harder to distinguish between them. They all want to be the voice of gaming in this grassroots effort to take back control from the ubiquitous gaming media empire. They all link and quote each other. They revel in their independence and ingenuity. This all sounds too familiar, though, and is the reason I hated weblogs to begin with. I don't want to be, or consider myself, a part of that.

For those that have supported me since the beginning I appreciate your kindness. This was always a hobby, a side project that allowed me to articulate some thoughts about my favorite pastime. Little did I know this would actually have an effect on people. It's a weird feeling, and never something I wanted when I started writing.

Forgive me for sounding like I'm about to give up, becuase that's not my intent. I have more than enough ideas and half-written articles to keep me updating this site for some time to come. I just ask you to understand I'm simply a guy with a website, who occasionally updates and talks about games.

Here's to another year at toase.net.

tending to the sores that stay

carnival or bust

I have been invited to the Carnival of Gamers. Twice.

Flattered to be considered part of the "heavy hitters of the gaming blogosphere" that were so noted on the invitation, I still didn't bother responding. What was the point of asking someone to link to one of my old posts? I'm happy to write for myself. I went about my business.

The first ever Carnival of Gamers has come and gone, and left a few people's egos in its wake. Some have been inflated, and others put in check, but I was mostly interested in the flame war sparked by one man's rage against the gaming media machine.

It all started with a post over at Tea Leaves, which cried foul over the news that Gamespy modified the review score for Donkey Konga 2. According to Tea Leaves, this was evidently another strike against the current state of video game writing, though the post was styled as a typical rant common to most blogs and should not have even been dignified with a reply, let alone a post on the Computer Games website. This poorly formulated response to a haphazard collection of links caused an avalanche of commentary, most of them located at Buttonmashing's follow up post. I was a little disturbed watching Computer Games' Matthew Gallant try to defend himself, having no real position since he never bothered to slog through all the links.

While I agree with the spirit of the Carnival, the way in which it was carried out does the entire "gaming blogosphere" a disservice. There was no evident method for selecting the posts. It was even said that the only reason the Tea Leaves post was listed first was because it was submitted first. The Carnival itself is simply a collection of links with a few choice words wrapped around them. If I was someone interested in a particular topic, for example, the lampooning of online game journalism, how would I know where to look? Categories or headers for common blog posts would have done well in this regard. The organizer and proprietor of Buttonmashing also noted that he didn't like some of the posts. So why were they listed? To be fair to those who submitted links? How is it, then, that you can call the Carnival "the best and brightest video game bloggers from around the world!" I don't care if it's sarcasm: this is unfair to the readers that have been lured in from other websites that might actually take this statement, and the following collection of video game writing, seriously.

I think Matthew Gallant's complaint about the lack of editorial control is an excellent one. The Carnival may be providing links to some unknown weblogs, but if it's bad writing (or as we saw, provides a sensationalist negative opinion) it will reflect badly on the organizer, and the Carnival itself. Slashdot Games may have ripped into the Carnival as well, but why dismiss them? Instead of hearing what the commenters had to say, despite its negative slant, it was blocked out as an insult to the whole affair. It's one thing to link to a bunch of articles you enjoyed. If they're read by similar-minded people like the ones on the typical game blogger's links page I doubt you'll get any arguments. But when word gets out, you're likely to draw in those people that don't agree with you. Either learn to put up with criticism, or stop doing this. It's that simple.

The referrer log gazing on the Carnival's wrap up post was amusing. Calling it a great success based on some heavy linkage is hardly a comprehensive measurement. Of particular note are the links on Kotaku and Instapundit. Did they even read all the posts in the Carnival? I really doubt it, because they probably would have had more to say. Outsiders are lured into this realm expecting greatness, or at least a level of quality reflective of the linking website.

What's so bad about writing and nobody reading it, anyway? This is a classic symptom of blogger narcissism. I've been happily writing about games on this site since 2003, and whether I get visitors or not makes no difference on how I do things. Half the time commenters were trying to sell me vicadin or horse pills anyway. I write what I want, when I want, and I'm not trying to apply myself to some unwritten agenda that game blogging must be seen to be validated. Besides, once your gaming weblog gets attention, then what? Are you going to use it as a portfolio to get a job somewhere else? At a gaming website? At a gaming magazine? Railing against established media isn't exactly the best way to network with future employers.

I blame Penny Arcade for this obsession with internet fame. I have nothing against the guys, but the cult of personality that has sprung up around them is absolutely mind-boggling. They can say a bad thing about a game and influence thousands of people. Tycho can praise a game using his verbal gymnastics and people will be lining up at EB the next day. These are just the opinions of two guys, but that doesn't matter. Disagree with the mob and you've got a flame war on your hands. And isn't that what's happening here?

There's nothing special about game blogs, yet the Carnival's supporters seem to think so. Some of the posts at the Carnival were actually well- written, even if they weren't talking about something I was particularly excited about. Part of the problem is that sentiments are simply echoed throughout these sites' collective blogrolls. What's the point of reading at all if I'm not going to get a difference in opinion, or a new viewpoint on an old subject? What makes this different from weblogging in general?

Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed for those on both sides of this perceived battle. Making light of the negative comments from Slashdot Games is one thing, but when your own comments section erupts into the same type of defensive, ranty posts found there it undermines the purpose of the discussion in the first place. Furthermore, making a point of lambasting a professional game writer as if he were responsible for the mess that is games journalism seems kind of shortsighted. It's usually wise to assume that the mainstream media understands very little about weblogging. So is outright hostility how new readers should be introduced to this subculture of game writers? I wouldn't be surprised if visitors directed to the Carnival from elsewhere saw these immature displays and opted to never return again.

I have never made any claims to expertise or credibility. It's safer that way, and I'm a lot happier doing my own thing than trying to champion some cause that I don't believe is necessary. There's just something about self-aggrandizing self-publishing that smacks of inexperience. I'd hardly call Kotaku the pinnacle of game blogging. Do you enjoy sifting through advertisements to get to your information? Yet for some reason the underlying theme here is bringing attention to the gamebloggers, these unsung heroes of game journalism that might one day rise up against the firmly established gaming media empire. But for what? Ad revenue? Respect? A piece of virtual infamy? There's no way attention would be this important if something wasn't wanted in return.

The next Carnival is this week. Here's hoping the host exercises a bit more editorial control, before the Carnival is buried under the unfortunate stigma of its predecessor.

fools like us

Site Maintenance: now with TypeKey protection

I apologize to the few people that comment here on a regular basis, but in order to add to the conversation you must now register with Movable Type's TypeKey service.

I thought that upgrading to Blacklist 2.x would be enough, but in the past 48 hours my site has been hit an unusual amount of times - all of them trying to post comment spam. Movable Type's automatic moderation of irregular comments is fine, but it's becoming impossible to keep up. Waking up to a stack of about 200 new comments that have to be added to my spam blacklist and then deleted is not something I want to keep doing. I'm sure my webhost isn't too happy about absorbing this excess traffic either.

I am hoping that this is only an interim fix, as Jay Allen posted on the MT development blog, and a more robust solution is developed. Movable Type is an excellent piece of software, and after seeing 3.0 I have no plans on switching. Like Windows is the target of viruses, the large install base of Movable Type is clearly the ripest target for the craven propagators of comment spam.

Site Maintenance: Upgrading to Movable Type 3.121

My quick and dirty upgrade of Movable Type seems to have been successful. I'm especially excited about using MT's implementation of Category heirarchies, something that Wordpress has been doing since the beginning.

The process was pretty easy, and took just over half an hour to get things up and running again. I would recommended it for anyone still running 2.661. SixApart's licensing scheme isn't as draconian as some would make it seem; as long as you're still running your single-author non-commercial blog you can get the full version for free. Most importantly, though, the deluge of comment spam I have recieved was finally put to rest by an up to date version of Jay Allen's most excellent MT-Blacklist plugin, an invaluable application in the face of even the most cleverly written, iron-clad URL exclusions.

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year one

I'll try and make this retrospective as painless as possible - the last thing the web needs is another self-important weblogger trying to justify what they've been using up webspace for. I think this place has come a long way since the self-loathing lad that sprung onto the scene hating on weblogs with reckless abandon. I used to read them all the time with a permanent sneer on my face, but they quickly started melting into a big, chunky morass of half-baked opinion pieces and lame commentary on current events. New ones are started every day just so some person can bitch about life's problems, so realistically it was impossible to keep up.

I knew from the start this site would need focus for a couple of reasons: one, it would provide a solid guideline and virtually endless subjects upon which to talk about, and two, it would prevent me from drifting into the realm of typical weblogs - sites that are essentially hastily constructed soapboxes on which the owners stand, loudly delivering their often randomly strung together thoughts and watching hit counters increase with unchecked fervor.

Games are a pretty specific topic, but this site isn't even in the same zip code as unique. I love games, and the reason I write about them is because I want to share my enjoyment of the hobby with others. I can't tell you how much of a release it has been to discuss Golden Sun or Castlevania or my obsession with World War II shooters instead of blurting out these same thoughts at a random person in EB or some guy playing his GBA-SP in a coffee shop. I'm pretty comfortable with the number of people that read my weblog, but one thing I've made a conscious effort to avoid is referrer log gazing - the tell-tale signs there is nothing better to say (or the lack of restraint to say nothing at all). I write what I feel like, and if it prompts a comment or two then I'm more ahead than I thought.

One thing I've noticed as of late is the amount of time I dedicate to this site. When I originally set out to do this, I mainly intended it to be a record of what I was playing. An exercise in writing game reviews, if you will. I could easily bash out a post or two and be done with it, because I didn't think anyone would actually read it, let alone take it seriously. Much to my amazement, people actually do, and as a result I put an increasing amount of effort into everything I write. I suppose this is a good thing, as it lends a bit more credibility to the articles that can be found here. But it is becoming apparent that I'm spending less time actually playing the games, and more time doing research or writing future articles. This makes me wonder if I'm now just playing to have something to write, or if I still play for sheer love for the hobby. More thought out articles also keeps my posting frequency down, though I keep telling myself I'm replacing quantity with quality. I'm not about to start making apologies for lack of updates, but what I must say is that this site isn't a blog anymore. It won't be updated frequently, as I now consider it a petri dish for ideas and articles that may find themselves elsewhere.

Over the last year I've met some solid people as a result of my site. Specifically Gamma Fodder, Tony "Ratboy" Walsh, and j. kinyeta have provided valuable support and feedback both currently, and in my blog's initial gestation stages last summer. And of course EvilAvatar, who had my banner rotating there for a brief while, bringing in a few new readers that wouldn't have found this place otherwise. I'd also like to acknowledge my IRC peeps, for checking this place out when it first started, telling me it sucks, and then still reading it anyway. But lastly I cannot help but recognize the infinite patience of my wife, without whom I would not have been able to experience the magic that is Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. Any other person would have long since abandoned me as a result of my dangerous obsession with video games.

I wouldn't recommend everyone start a blog. The novelty is indeed amusing at first, but it does take a serious effort to maintain lest it be abandoned and mocked publicly. Another misconception is that a weblog automatically offers some slice of virtual infamy; rather, it does not, because about two million other people had the exact same idea.

How this retrospective took on such a negative slant should show you that weblogs as a whole for me remain ridiculously unimpressive. I will be the first to admit they are fun, and a useful way of categorizing one's thoughts, ideas and experiences. But I'm also a firm believer that the only thing good to come of them is the software - never before has it been so easy to set up and maintain a website with dynamic content.

So thanks for reading. Here's hoping for another year of playing - and writing about - great games.

brains on a brick wall

a few words about...WordPress

The entire blogosphere is letting out a collective whine about SixApart's pricing scheme for Moveable Type 3.0, and I feel I should say something before things get out of hand. Put simply, nobody is forcing you to upgrade. This release is primarily aimed at developers to test the software and port their plugins, as Jay Allen has so succinctly put it in his blog for MT-Blacklist, probably the most popular plugin for MT users to date. Because of the new demands of SixApart - in case everyone's even forgotten, they are developers - dyed-in-the-wool MT users are even threatening to move to alternative content management systems in droves because of this perceived snubbing of their user base.

Personally, I don't really care about these new features - and if the majority of the whiners would settle down and take a look at their current weblogging practices, they might even notice that they aren't even using most of the features of MT 2.6. Calling MT 3.0 a massive upgrade would be some sort of mass delusion. But I'm going off on an MT tangent here, I want to say a few things about what I have found to be the closest thing to it: WordPress.

Filled with the same righteous indignation of those that pride themselves on using Open Source software (also known as most of the blogging community - the cheap bastards), I decided to check it out on my personal webserver. It seems to be running without problems; it took all of ten minutes to set everything up and import across some old MT entries. If you're fluent in the language of MySQL and PHP you will have no problems at all.

One of the things I found most annoying about MT is the fact that everything hinges on CGI scripts that are written in Perl. I know as much about Perl as I do about The Ancient Art of War; that is to say, mostly head-scratching and keyboard bashing. The fact that WordPress relies solely on a collection of freely editable PHP scripts is a dream come true for me, and the code is even readable. The biggest complaint of course is that WordPress only allows for one weblog, but this can be worked around by creating multiple install directories still using the same database (you'd set up separate tables in MySQL for each weblog). The MT categories were carried across perfectly, and I actually found WordPress' implementation of these a lot more usable. Users are also handled differently with Levels, giving as much or as little control as you like, not having to worry about who is an actual author or owner of a weblog. The interface is not as pretty as MT's, but then this wasn't developed by web designers.

The biggest difference of course is that WordPress displays your weblog's content dynamically, as opposed to MT rebuilding static pages every time something is updated. This is good design; however, not really much use for search engines. I think most people would be happy with WordPress, but you really have to ask yourself: "Why am I switching?" Is it out of spite for cute little Ben and Mena? Or is it because you want a flexible piece of software, something that isn't restricted by a licensing scheme as ambiguous as the genders in a Final Fantasy game? I've read numerous stories of avid bloggers that have switched to WordPress, or even Textpattern and then came crawling back for want of some obscure feature of MT's that had not yet been implemented in either. A free version of MT 3.0 has been issued as long as you've registered with TypeKey, limiting the use to one author and three weblogs. What's wrong with this option, assuming that the engine is more stable and all the new features will be used? Furthermore, what's wrong with keeping an existing 2.661 install? Absolutely nothing; it's just bitterness aimed at a fledgling company trying to capitalize on their success.

there's no promise of safety

reformatted to fit in a panel

I don't usually go out of my way to recommend or promote blogs or weblogging in general, but I suppose this is a special case. I have been doing a good job at converting the Wife into a gamer recently, and now it looks like all my whining about weblogs actually had an audience, because she's gone ahead and started one (possibly out of spite).

The intent? To share with the anonymous inter-web the laughs we've had as a newly married couple. Hold back the gag reflex - from seeing what she has in store it should be pretty funny. Watch out, orneryboy.

Aw come on, I'm allowed aren't I?

the taste of ink

Syncato is home to some very innovative free software that I will continue to watch with great interest. According to the creator it is quite usable; in fact Comments are almost out of the testing phase. The system is based around the manipulation of XML fragments, is completely searchable via an XML database, and really seems capable of being more than just a tool for weblogging. I am really happy with MT, but learning something like Syncato would definitely allow more flexibility when developing my site.

I also found a stimulating post and discussion about weblogging in one of my RSS feeds, simply entitled "Why do you blog?".

Why do I blog? Pretty simple. I love games. I love to write about games. I also like the idea of someone actually listening, and by doing so sharing with me my love for the hobby. Fame or fortune? Who the fuck cares. The internet is huge; I'm just happy to have a voice.

it was all the rage, it was all the fashion

when weblogs attack

Like the typical narcissistic blogger, I've been observing my stats closely over the past two weeks due to some curious referrals. I've received quite a number unique hits to my site from people using google to search for Star Wars Kid, Nomad Zen NX and the Rio Karma. I did these searches myself, and could not find my site within the first 30 results, which is a good thing. However, the people that did end up here realize it's a weblog, and then promptly leave (which is what I would probably do myself). I mean honsestly, if I'm looking for information on a product, I want the purest information available - not opinionated hot air spewed by some guy with a website.

I first read about the idea of weblogs tainting google results here. Matt claimed that weblogs (his included) were skewing results by taking advantage of Google's Page Rank algorithm. The proof was a bit slim, so naturally other bloggers took to dismantling his argument. To save you from having to sift through pointless crap, the final results are here, in a fairly informal research experiment proving that 2.1 % of their total search results returned blogs in the top 10. And even then, some of the blogs were actually informative! After viewing this study Matt recounted his argument, and all was well with the world. Or was it?

You see the webmaster of Namebase claims google is actually being unfair in its page ranking algorithm, because it is not returned in certain types of searches. In fact, he attributes this to the glut of weblogs skewing results (sound familiar?) and webmasters abusing meta tags and search bots to get their sites ranked higher (You might want to read about google bombs before jumping over there). After spending some time at the questionable Google Watch, I have learned that all webmasters with small-time sites and big egos are the same. They bitch about not getting page hits. In response, someone has kindly erected the Anti-Google Watch which pretty much dispels it as being bitter, misleading and juvenile. I tend to agree.

Personally, I find this whole scenario amusing. Many non-commercial websites and bloggers assume that unique hits or hits at all are equivalent to some sort of vaildation in the limited realm of the blogosphere. Guess what kids - it's not. google may bring you maybe 1 return visitor out of the 20 people that stumble upon your site because of a poorly defined search. Why not promote your site? Jump out into the community, visit message boards, leave comments and make people visit. Or better yet, shut up, because if you're complaining about hits or visitors your site probably sucks. The best advertisement is always word of mouth. If you've got something to offer, chances are your URL will make it around eventually.

I've said this so many times it's beginning to piss me off. Don't write your blog to get hits/be famous/score advertising/get linked by an A-lister. It's not worth your time. Write whatever you want, but write it because you want to, for your own sake. Weblogs can be fun, informative and definitely make the internet seem less boring. But for Christ's sake stop taking yourselves seriously. There are very few blogs that have actually emerged as legitimate news sources, and it took a helluva lot of work to get there. The rest are just chaff made up of repetitive link collections with regurgitated opinions attached. Is yours one of them?

As a result of doing toase.net I've met a lot of cool people who say they enjoy reading the site. For that I am grateful, because to me community building is the best aspect of weblogging. But to post stats or shout gleefully that you've broken x number of unique hits - that's nothing to crow about. It's just another personal weblog in the echochamber known as the blogosphere.

wrong number

The power went out at my house last night, and as usual Uncle Ted decides to assign me another IP address. Some of you may not have been able to view the site during the last 24 hours, and for that I accept full responsibility. I thought I would save cash and just buy a domain with a DNS forwarding service, but it relies on a static IP. Once the IP changes, you're fucked and your website is severed from the internet (Of course, technically you're not really supposed to be hosting a website from your home broadband connection, but that's another issue entirely). A friend of mine told me I should sign up for Dynamic DNS forwarding back when I started the site, but since nothing was wrong with my setup at the time I naturally brushed it off. Two power failures later I'm beginning to see the need because it's a pain in the ass to deal with my domain registrar.

I found a fairly complete list of free DynDNS services, and decided to check out HammerNode. We'll see in a couple of days if everything works or not because I plan on "simulating" a power outage. You think I'm fucking joking? I want to see if this guy's skills are up to snuff, since the guy basically has a pile of servers sitting in his living room running this service. ZoneEdit doesn't look bad either, so I'll try them next if I don't have any luck with Mr. HammerNode.

weblog graveyard

dave over at fucked weblog emailed me back today about my recent submission. Weblogs are extremely serious for some people - in fact for some a little too serious. Perhaps sometimes I write like that as well, but in the end I realize that this is the Internet, where everything you read (or write) means nothing to varying degrees. However, something he told me gave me an idea about just how fucked up some people are:

I was a little shocked to say the least. I mean I understand that blogging is a release for some people, to get all their problems into the open and hope for a little support from the online community. That's fine, even though I don't enjoy reading those types of weblogs. But when you go out of your way to send a suicide note to the guy that is keeping an informal tally of defunct weblogs, I think at that point it's time to assess what really matters in your life.

blogrolling

I gotta stop reading other people's weblogs. Not only is it depressing as fuck, but it's getting kind of boring. Not to imply that I have anything more interesting to say, but I'm comfortable in the fact that I don't make anyone read endless posts about how my significant other is a such a jerk (I hope they call me soon) or the results of some stupid test that I've taken and how you gotta try this one 'cause its so much different from the last one. I visit these sites with disturbed fascination, the way you would watch one of those special ed kids eat their lunch in a high school cafeteria.

In reading these craptacular blogs, I've learned to accept the fact that the English language will continue to be decimated with retarded sayings or poor use of grammar. Maybe I do it too, but I swear to god if I read one more run-on sentence that is broken up by elipses or emotes I'm going to jump off a god damned building. But I digress.

I never let something go too easily, so I'm going to go back to a previous post to discuss further some aspects of the "blogosphere" (gag) or in less freakish terms the loosely built community of weblogs on the internet. After not even a month of having this site online, I've come to the realization that no one will read it if it is not publicized. So sue me - I guess I do give a shit who reads it after all, since I'm busting my ass to provide a bit of original written content as opposed to a bunch of links with half-assed comments. Anyway that's not my point. Back in the good old days when everyone made a shitty website at GeoCities, before it was purchased by Yahoo!, they had a really good banner exchange program. Basically you were able to create an animated gif, with a dimension and file size limit, that would be placed into a pool containing the banners of all GeoCities sites. It was a great way of using their mandatory ad banner program for the free sites. I'll even admit that it worked and I got a few new visitors that signed my guestbook. What glorious and self-validating experiences they were. Indeed, it was much simpler then.

Now we have "blogrolling", which is basically a form of mutual masturbation, but in the blogosphere it's just called "reciprocal links". It's especially nice if you're on the blogroll of a site with lots of traffic, because you're guaranteed a few hits. And let's not forget the uproar when someone un-links you. It's all pretty sad, and every single blog is guilty of it in some way or another. As I said before, if you expect recognition you'd better have something interesting to say on a consistent basis or otherwise there is no point in sucking up to the A-listers. Oh and also, it helps when your site design is not two shades away from the default install of your blogging tool.

By the way, when you visit my site start leaving some comments. This guy thinks it's important for the weblog medium, and I tend to agree. Otherwise, I kind of feel like I'm shouting into the dark vaccuum of space. Which is still entirely possible.

blogs and cheese

Before I even started this site, I investigated the weblog phenomenon, and the community that has sprung up in its wake. From the beginning I never really liked the format. It seemed informal, unorganized, and a little too personal. But on the other hand I suppose if someone's thoughts are formulated into tidy paragraphs they lose some of their personality and realism. Some have long since reached cult status, but for what reason is beyond my understanding.

It seems that most weblogs really just boil down to people talking about themselves, and putting it into a somewhat readable format. Sure some may take the form of reviews or news, but it ends up just being a spot for the author to shoot their mouth off. Hey, I'll be the first to admit that's basically what my site is for. However the aspect of blogging that really disturbs me is the efforts some bloggers go through to become part of the community. I suppose it's that age old desire for oneself to be accepted, but honestly, it borders on pathetic.

The way I understand weblogs is that they are written like personal journals. Which is completely fine, if you don't mind sharing with the general public. But to go out of your way to gain favour with the "famous" blogs, or to somehow gain entrance into the "inner circle" of prominent blogging communities seems a bit heavy-handed. By doing this the blogger immediately assumes that these people will be interested in what they have to say. You could even go so far as to point out that having your journal online at all makes this assumption.

My point is that one's weblog should never be about fame or recognition. If you wanted recognition there are easier ways that don't involve kissing ass or foisting your URL on a more visible blogger. Ultimately if a throng of regular readers is your intention, you'd better have something worth reading.