The Future of Tales of a Scorched Earth

I have not played a game in exactly seven months.

Well, that's not entirely true. I should probably specify that I haven't played a console or PC game in seven months. I've gamed on my Treo 650 and my video iPod. I spent all of 15 minutes with Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. But does it count?

To be honest, I don't really miss it all that much. Life is busy with the little one, and I now know that time actually can pass faster. Changing responsibilities at work and at home has left me with very little spare time, and even less of a desire to sit at my computer and have to install and learn a game, and possibly squeeze in a play session. It doesn't feel right.

Nevertheless, I keep coming back to this place and looking at the last time I updated it. While I like writing for the Cultural Gutter, I don't really consider those "updates" in the purest sense, because I'm writing for someone else. After two more articles I will no longer be writing there anyway.

I recently felt the urge to write about games like I used to, but I haven't played any that provide suitable inspiration. Well, except perhaps MoonFighter, a devilishly enjoyable exercise in navigating extremely basic physics. It is on my Treo.

I missed the holiday season, and the post-holiday season. My sister and her finance have a Wii that I haven't touched yet (but desperately want to). Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is on Xbox Live Arcade. Computer Games Magazine has died a premature death and I never submitted a feature. I don't recognize the shelves of my local electronics retailers anymore. I have no idea what games people are talking about. The only newsworthy item I can relate to is the release of S.T.A.L.K.E.R., which made me laugh because I had written a preview for the game to be posted on my site in 2003. It has been getting decent reviews. I may even play it.

I don't want to abandon Tales of a Scorched Earth completely, but I'm having trouble approaching what I'm going to do with it. I always said I prefer writing substance than linking and quoting, and that's not going to change. I have also come to the realization that I liked writing about games more than I did playing them, because it is a form of entertainment that is still emerging and being shaped more by the people that play them than the media that reports on it. I have also come to the understanding that this is an integral part of my life, and harder than I thought to separate myself from. I hope to be returning within the next few weeks as my life approaches a semblance of equilibrium.

One thing I've learned from doing more reading than writing in the past seven months: bad writing isn't just a boil on the ass of game journalism. It is everywhere and it is inescapable. Good criticism is mostly forgotten or buried under the piles of readable, yet completely innocuous commentary that people are paid for. As ridiculous as it sounds, weblogs are still providing better entertainment be they inane or thought-provoking. As much as I hate the idea of them, they are a fair reflection of society at large. They are unconventional, they are brutal, they are sometimes (?) completely misinformed - but they approach the sort of verisimilitude you would expect from a crowd of like minded individuals. At least one thing hasn't changed.

now entering gamer parenthood

On August 30th at 7:37 pm I became a father to a beautiful baby girl. She definitely takes after my wife.

After nine months of waiting, I finally met the little person that was growing inside my wife. The biology of pregnancy is quite amazing when you think about it - and while the most well-meaning people will often try and scare you with stuff that can go wrong, or things your wife should be eating, or the right time to buy a crib - I constantly fell back on the advice of our prenatal class instructor: this is supposed to work.

As an expectant parent, everyone tells you it's this huge life changing experience that you will never forget for as long as you live, and there isn't anything else out there that comes close to the way parenting enriches your life. Alongside the incessant advice-giving, I have to admit I was completely skeptical of the gravity of the event to come. I really had no idea how wrong I could be.

I was there for everything. I saw the birth. And as much as the Life network and the movies shown at the hospital try to prepare you for what to expect, there's really no replacement for actually witnessing it. Yes there is blood and gore and pain and the squeezing of hands and all that other stuff people love to mention when talking about childbirth, but none of it matters when you see that tiny human come into the world.

From that moment on priorities change. They have to. For the last two weeks I've been learning to be a parent. Dealing with crying jags. Changing diapers at 3 a.m. I have begun to make lists. Things that I have to do, things that I should do, and things that I would like to do. Everything related to the baby is in the first list. Housework (and sometimes feeding ourselves!) ends up in the second list. Gaming, and everything related to my computer, has been in the last category, if that.

At first I was a little uneasy about the lifestyle change. Like everyone else who has grown up in a generation where education, career and technology are everything, it was very easy for me to push the idea of raising a family aside for the time being. When my wife and I got married we both knew we wanted children…eventually. After we moved into the new house, we started thinking about it seriously. Just in time for Christmas, we found out we would be parents.

Now I have to find a new balance. And it doesn't bother me that much. I have to admit I've watched a lot of T.V., more than I have in the last five years combined. Commercials still mostly suck, daytime television is for the unemployed (bad movies galore and every commercial break is an ad for going back to school), and in the evenings I've watched the Red Sox go from struggling ball club to a full-on end-of-season collapse. I'm often used as a pillow for our little one's sleeping arrangements, leaving me pretty much incapacitated for most of the day. While this sedentary lifestyle may not be for me, I know it gets better.

It's exciting to watch this little person sneeze for the first time, or grab my finger, or vomit all over my wife's back. I watch in amazement as our golden retriever tries to comfort our baby with a drool-caked toy, or the way she is always sleeping wherever the baby is. It's been so much fun, I've pretty much forgotten about everything else. The best part is that baby has no idea if we're doing anything "wrong"; they have nothing to compare to. It's very reassuring.

Things may slow down here for a while, but as I find equilibrium within this new life production should return to normal. I may even start polishing off some of my forgotten unfinished reviews to maintain some semblance of an update schedule. In the meantime I'll game whenever I have an appropriate opportunity.

Last year I shared the fact that I got a dog with the entire internet. I battled my most primal urges to post a photo, out of fear of becoming that kind of weblog. This time is different.

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year three

Indulge me as I embark on my yearly retrospective.

As most long time readers know, if there's anything I want out of this website it's thoughtful discussion on games. And I have to admit that requiring commenters to register has ensured that - for the most part. I've also learned that it's almost impossible for me to write short posts. They just feel...incomplete. I love the details. In some cases I'm sure I've bored someone to tears before they even get a chance to comment. But that's beside the point.

Allow me to share some observations and commentary after writing a gaming weblog over the past three years:

• A question every weblogger, not just a games weblogger, has to ask themselves: Do you like to write, or do you like attention? This is kind of a rhetorical question. Everyone who has a website wants attention. Otherwise it wouldn't be there. The important thing to remember is that this need for approval is kept under control. Let the content speak for itself. Producing content for someone else to read can be a really gratifying experience. It can also be an extremely gratuitous one. If you're selling adspace, I'm pretty sure you're going with option #2. But don't expect anyone to take your opinion seriously once the steady commentary becomes incessant droning for clickthroughs. I'd like to think that this surge of interest in games writing over the past year has done well to promote sharing the love of the hobby, while taking it under serious consideration in intelligent discussion. But I don't think it's working - there's too much antagonism towards print media. It sucks, I get it. So do most high profile gaming sites. There's also some serious backlash for the games weblogging community. It's annoying. Let's move on and talk about games.

• Never apologize for a lack of updates. Unless you're being paid for it. But then you should be apologizing to whoever hired you that is paying for you to produce content. Not your readers who are consuming it for free. I keep seeing this phenomenon. I'm pretty sure I've done it once or twice in the past. I have no idea why. There are hundreds of gaming weblogs out there. The news will be picked up somewhere else - it's not a big deal. If you have something interesting to say, sit on it. Make it better. Chances are some correction will be issued in the next couple of days anyway and you don't look like so many other twitch bloggers. There's really no need to post something if you have nothing to report. You have a life. It's ok. Posting something about not posting is insulting to the reader who expects real content.

• The siren call of a new release. Everyone feels it. A new game is out and we all want to be the first ones to report on it. The big gaming websites already had a leg up – they've been playing a gold master copy for weeks. But weblogs are (theoretically) different because they have a unique opinion that doesn't necessarily follow a standard outline of the game's features. It's important to have your own opinion – it's what makes weblogs interesting to read. But I find that some of them get caught up in carrying the hype. They don't want to seem like the party crasher. They don't trust their own opinion of the game and seek validation by joining the crowd. I've seen it time and again. Then a month or two later the "real" reviews start pouring in, saying the game was overhyped or isn't nearly as good as everyone first thought. It's a vicious cycle. Allow your thoughts to congeal. Take some time to formulate a cohesive argument. Take advantage of the format. Maybe it is that good, and you want to explain what makes it great. I absolutely cannot stomach reading reviews that are unsubstantiated, or are clearly rushed to simply get something out there. It's not doing anyone any favours, and carelessly squanders the concept of having a weblog that answers to no one.

• The Slashdot effect. Slashdot used to be a great place to get breaking tech news and decent commentary from the community. Not anymore, because it's competing with a hundred other sites doing the same thing. Similarly, the majority of game blogs seem to link to stuff with a quick opinion and let the comments section pick up the details. Which is fine, if the proprietors don't mind being interchangeable with each other.

• MMORPGs will ruin your life. Obviously an exaggeration and nothing to do with weblogging, but there's some truth to it. I played World of Warcraft on and off for 10 months before quitting in Februrary. It's a good game for a while, as long as you understand that nothing else in your life will matter. The social aspect is great - if you don't mind spending all of your spare time in the game. Trying to level just so you can quest with friends or guildmates is a huge pain in the ass. I'd rather play at my own pace. Though at that point it's a lonely experience, and I might as well be playing Oblivion. Despite what people may think, this game model is not going to change. It makes money and satisfies most of the customers that aren't screaming on the official forums. And that's ok - I just won't be playing.

• Fun fact: Most of what you read here starts out on actual paper. I keep a notebook accessible whenever possible, especially when playing a game. It makes it easier to remember points to visit in detail. The worst thing about coming up with a great topic to write about is having no place to record it.

• I enjoy writing full length articles. So much that I've accumulated way too many of them that are still sitting in an unfinished state, most of them reviews. Golden Sun, Knights of the Old Republic, Spider Man 2, Tales of Symphonia, Fire Emblem, Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, Astro Boy: Omega Factor, Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance, Metroid Prime 2, Baten Kaitos, Brothers in Arms, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, F.E.A.R... the list goes on, unfortunately. But I don't have a problem with that. Some will see completion "when they're done" (to borrow from our beloved industry), and some will probably remain as collections of text from a time where my heart was in the right place but the writing just wasn't there.
  

So I continue to write when I feel like it, about games I have played, articles I have read or media I have consumed while trying to maintain a level of quality that doesn't make people feel like they're wasting their time. My only hope is that I can keep this up for three more years. Because it isn't getting any easier.

a warning about backblogging

In the past, I didn't think much about back dating the occasional post a couple of days because I felt it should have that particular date on it. This website has always been a catalogue of my thoughts as they arrive, so using that method only seemed natural. Some readers may have even noticed. However, aside from writing some full length reviews for Clickable Culture, I spent the better part of the Fall in an unproductive spree that resulted in an unplanned hiatus of sorts. In between Real Life™, and not wanting to do much else after coming home from work except turn my brain off (read: World of Warcraft), I have amassed a pile of old entries that were started with the best of intentions and never finished. These aren't just reviews either - they were timely posts that I just never got around to putting online. I could have easily just linked the stuff as I do in my sidebar, but at that point I may as well just give up. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, it's about god damned time I got things back in order.

So over the next couple of weeks if you find an article or review you swore wasn't there the last time you checked, you're probably right. To everyone who's still reading, thanks for being patient.

a fickle fascination

In the past month, the following things have transpired in no particular order:

• I contemplated shutting down this site. Lack of time, motivation, and overall frustration with not being able to finish my ideas left me feeling like continuing would just be wasting my effort.

• That didn't last long though. I soon realized that the gaming blogosphere, and weblogs in general are not worth getting worked up over. I should have learned in the past two years that with such a low point of entry crappy blogs only propogate, they don't disappear.

• I spent a lot of time training (and re-training) our new puppy. I've exercised as much restraint as one man possibly can in avoiding the posting of photos, so I figure this small mention should be good enough in staving off the desire to share my dog with the entire Internet.

• Shortly after the last post we lost our cable connection (including internet and TV) to the dog. See, she thought it would be cool if she severed the incoming coax cable to our apartment. It didn't matter though, because at that point we were getting ready to move again.

• We packed for, and executed, another move - to our final destination in Markham. I feel more at home than I ever have in this brand new house. A brief note to U-Haul: when one reserves a truck two weeks in advance, one expects to get it the day of said reservation, and the size of truck reserved. One does not want to wait in line for an hour and then be given an unmeetable deadline to return it. Also: Bell Canada lost a staggering number of customers in our new neighborhood due to their contractors being on strike. I'm sure FCI Broadband thanks you.

• I didn't take the news that it would be impossible for me to run the Battlefield 2 demo very well.

• Having minimal access to the internet has ejected me so far out of the gaming news loop that I'm having a hard time determining what's actually worthy of my attention now that I'm up and running again. Though it is the summer, and let's be honest here: there are really only four months of the year that publishers and news outlets really care about.

• Baten Kaitos is actually pretty good, despite essentially being a direct adaptation of Tales of Symphonia with cards.

• I purchased and fully consumed Billy Corgan's new album, TheFutureEmbrace. I had actually started to write a review, but the underlying tone of disappointment left me feeling depressed and unwilling to finish. A good effort, but when I went to the concert on July 2nd I think I was more enamored with the thought of seeing Billy Corgan live, than seeing those songs performed. You lose something when your band consists of a computer, fake drums, and a scary looking backup singer. Though the second opening act, Doris Henson, kicked the crowd into high gear after the abysmal performance of The Crimea. Doris Henson reminded me a bit of Treble Charger in their early days; too bad it's not 1995. They might have been big.

• I was extremely close to cancelling my World of Warcraft account. After not playing it for roughly four weeks without any mental or physical signs of withdrawal, I thought myself free of its barbed tendrils. This is not true. All it took was thinking about starting a new character, which I will be doing in about five minutes.
  

In a couple of days things should be back to normal and my writing can resume in earnest. Real life keeps me busy, but the one thing I've determined during my time off is that giving up this website would leave me incredibly bored.

let me out

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year two

Those who know me know I love gaming. I could play video games all day long, and I would happily relay these things through writing. As I've known from the beginning, maintaining a weblog to some standard of decency is tough. I always said I would pack it up and move on once it started to feel like a job.

I'm not going to continue kidding myself. This website is a job.

It's partially my own fault, because instead of writing short, link-and-quote type posts I'd rather talk about the larger issue, or write a full article about a game. The former would certainly be easier at this point, but I'm not going to settle for that. There are enough sites out there that are happy to quote other people's work and pass it off as writing. Good for them.

I said in last year's year in review that this website would be more like a collection of articles as opposed to a "weblog", a term I never really made amends with. I never wanted to obey some hidden schedule and feel obligated to post regularly, but as I continue to gain readership these feelings are unavoidable. I'm flattered that I'm on the list of someone's daily reads or regular source of information. I'm glad I could share my passion with fellow gamers or people who cared to read about it.

I continue to harbour some kind of grudge against the "blogosphere", too, which is another phenomenon that I would rather disassociate myself with especially in light of recent events. In the past year the number of gaming weblogs has increased to the point where it's becoming harder to distinguish between them. They all want to be the voice of gaming in this grassroots effort to take back control from the ubiquitous gaming media empire. They all link and quote each other. They revel in their independence and ingenuity. This all sounds too familiar, though, and is the reason I hated weblogs to begin with. I don't want to be, or consider myself, a part of that.

For those that have supported me since the beginning I appreciate your kindness. This was always a hobby, a side project that allowed me to articulate some thoughts about my favorite pastime. Little did I know this would actually have an effect on people. It's a weird feeling, and never something I wanted when I started writing.

Forgive me for sounding like I'm about to give up, becuase that's not my intent. I have more than enough ideas and half-written articles to keep me updating this site for some time to come. I just ask you to understand I'm simply a guy with a website, who occasionally updates and talks about games.

Here's to another year at toase.net.

tending to the sores that stay

assault on eastdale ave.

On my way home today I reflected on the fact that I had missed the release of SWAT 4 this week, blaming it entirely on my preoccupation with all things World of Warcraft. As I made my way down the street to our apartment, I noticed an extremely long lineup of police cruisers parked at the side of the street, complete with an EMS truck on standby. As I got closer, I saw an eight-man SWAT team standing on the grass in front of a townhouse complex across the street from our building.

My first reaction was that this was some kind of sign, a portent to remind me that I should be playing what will probably be the tactical shooter of the year. Amidst thoughts like, "that body armour looks awesome," and "check out those helmets and headsets," I was completely lost in the moment. I was lucky I didn't hit any of the gawkers lining the curbs that were trying to see what was going on.

This confusion of gaming and reality disturbed me, because when the thoughts had passed I came to the stunning realization that I live here.

another chapter in the book of self-loathing

The first, of course, being the inception of this website.

I once made a habit of sneering at anyone in possession of an iPod. They seem like such a fashion accessory, the owners flaunting them like it was some sort of status symbol. I laughed when the flashmugging site went online, and the subsequent downturn in the number of white earbuds I saw on the street. Forget subscribing to Apple's school of over designed hardware - I wanted a Nomad Zen NX.

My flimsy shell of rebellion was swiftly shattered by my in-laws this weekend, who surprised me with a gift from Hong Kong - a 6 GB iPod mini. Something I never expected, because while I was over there I specifically avoided this type of technology because it was too much of a temptation (and still way too expensive). So now I join the ranks of the MP3 player elite, ashamed to be counted among this unstoppable marketing force. Though on the same token, eternally grateful for such a generous gift. I hear that the visions of Avril Lavigne t-shirt wearing high school students rocking out to their Minis eventually subside. Mostly.

After opening the obnoxiously arty packaging and rubbing my body with the deliciously sleek, silvery device, I decided to try it out. Apple loves to make their hardware completely idiot proof, but when someone other than an idiot wants to know how it works or configure the shit out of it, things tend to happen.

I remember downloading and installing iTunes when it became available for Windows. This was shortly after iPods became usable with Windows, and was considered a kind of watershed for digital music. I've always wanted to replace WinAmp with something less, well, WinAmp and figured that was the answer. Little did I know I was basically downloading Windows Media Player designed by Apple, and uninstalled the damned thing a day later. It had an interface that was smooth and appealing to the eye. In fact, it made sure to maintain the design conventions carried over from Mac OS. But what it didn't tell you was what it was doing to your meticulously organized digital music library in the background. iTunes loves to make you think its doing you a favour, but it's really just an annoyance dressed up in brushed metal. I have a 6 GB portable storage device, and the only way to use it is through that blasted program.

Loading songs onto my iPod mini was effortless, but I noticed that most of the ID3 tags were completely off (my own fault). The iPod onboard menu automatically organizes your songs according to album, artist, genre, etc., so this is pretty important if you expect to find a specific song to listen to. I can't stand the singles-driven music culture that MP3s players foster, so for albums, track numbers are doubly important. Otherwise you're listening to The Wall in alphabetical order, and suddenly "Another Brick in the Wall" Parts 1 to 3 are back to back and completely lose all their meaning. Adding or changing any of this information in iTunes will only update your library database, and not the MP3 file attributes itself - for that you have to "convert" the ID3 tags first. This made me constantly refer back to Windows Explorer and my beautiful hierarchical folder structure to correct them manually. Of course, this will only affect those that get tired of iTunes' sluggish response and wish to use their old MP3 player. Custom playlists are easily creatable, and an "On the Go" function on the iPod itself will allow you to create playlists on the fly. I found that especially handy if I wanted to listen to a few albums in succession.

In the iPod's Extras menu, you have the ability to store "To Do" lists, text files, contacts, and sync with iCal (if you have the program). This is a great idea! It's not like any of this stuff takes up space. The coolest feature outside the obvious music playing one is the games. In this age of gadget-philia, everything must have games on it to be useful. The iPod mini sports Brick, Parachute, Music Trivia, and Solitaire. Solitaire definitely has the best graphics. I felt it was my actual hand on screen moving those cards. Brick is that age old classic Arkanoid dressed way, way down, but it's fun to use the magic touchpad. I don't know how often I'd play that one in public though, because it would defeat the purpose of wearing shitty headphones.

It's hard to believe I can put half of my music collection on this thing, because in reality I doubt I'd ever make it through the playlist in my entire life. I think knowing that I have this capability makes this feel comforting, even though iTunes is essentially tying my hands.

as you claw the thin ice

sim city

Another friend entered the inescapable vortex of World of Warcraft on the weekend, and I've been doing everything in my power to resist for reasons unknown even to me at this point. To that end I reinstalled Sim City 4, which in my mind is just as addictive, though not exactly an experience that can be shared by all.

Our new apartment has a great view of the city, and during a short break in play I took a look out of the window and felt like I was gazing into a thousand mirrors reflecting back on each other. Indeed, the burgeoning metropolis sprawled out on my monitor was not entirely different from the houses and buildings around me, and for an instant I had one of those episodes where reality and gamespace were indistinguishable.

a momentary lapse of reason

Last time I moved it was after the wedding. And it wasn't like I was moving far away; the Wife lived with her parents in Rockwood which was about 30 minutes away from Guelph. Though the In-Laws weren't there, as they were working overseas in Hong Kong. So the house was basically ours to live in. The Wife worked downtown, and I had been working at my job in Markham for just over a year and knew full well what the commute would be like. So we decided to head in together every day to keep each other company. I would drop her off at the subway at Yonge and Finch, and then head up to Markham. My first mistake was to think that this wouldn't make much of a difference in travel time; in hindsight the typical delusion of most Toronto commuters. And so I give you a rant that has been building up over the last two and a half years.

2004: another year in review

Consider this a prelude to the list of my favorite games released last year. I'm having a lot of trouble trying to consolidate the games I've played into a list of only ten; clearly 2004 was an absolutely incredible year for gaming. Although my exposure to other media was minimal, the following are selections that were firmly lodged in my craw for one reason or another. I also made a conscious decision to note some games that were worthy of recognition, but not necessarily the best of the year.

Album of the Year: n. lannon - chemical friends.

This record has all but moved me to tears. n. lannon triumphantly carries the torch lit by Elliott Smith's entire catalogue; each song is either brimming with melancholy or the apathy of a musician that just wants to share his experiences with us. A perfect blend of electronic and acoustic sounds. Put simply, I cannot get enough of this album, and its melodies will be forevermore etched upon my soul.

Most over-rated band/release of the year: The Arcade Fire - Funeral

It's pretty good...but not that good. I'm really tired of the indie scene convulsing upon the first hipster critic to declare their Greatest Album of the Year. It seems to me it's been more like a search for the most off the wall, tangential sound conceivable. This happened with Broken Social Scene last year, interpol the year before it...you get the picture. Also, someone should tell The Arcade Fire to stop wearing their David Byrne/Talking Heads influences on their sleeve. It's extremely telling when this "unknown" band gets praised by the indie music press for what mainstream bands get slagged for doing every fucking day.

A CD that should be destroyed should you see it in the wild: Keane - Hopes and Fears

The first time this record reached my ears, I was overcome by such a strong feeling of nausea mixed with deja-vu I could have sworn I was listening to Franz Ferdinand or whatever else those fucktards are playing on the radio. Make no mistake: these guys are ripoff artists plain and simple, mixing influences like Jet and making no effort to hide it. Compared to Keane, Coldplay would seem revolutionary. Any friend caught with this album in their possession should be flogged with their own arms. There's no need for it. American Eagle already has it on their in-store playlist.

Best Movie of the Year

Spider Man 2 was terrific, and Hellboy was a fairly well recieved take on a cult favorite, but I'm not so sure it will stand the test of time. The Aviator was certainly the most interesting movie I've seen all year, and will be picking up the requisite Oscars for DiCaprio's quirky performance. Maybe this is just a sign of my focal point for the year, but there wasn't a particular film that stood out in my memory as being "the best". And knowing the commercials and head splitting previews that await the start of any film, actually going to the movies is becoming less and less lucrative, when the DVD can be purchased months later for roughly the same amount as two tickets.

Worst Movie of the Year: Van Helsing

I don't remember ever watching a movie that made me want to hurt myself while watching it. Van Helsing was embarassing. I saw this on Halloween weekend with Dawn of the Dead, a fucking masterpiece in comparison, and infinitely more fun than having to solve the riddle of why so much bad makeup, acting and story made their way into one movie.

Best Movie tie-in: The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay

However many told me that Spider Man 2 didn't suck, I remain completely unimpressed by what it had to offer, and maybe one day I'll reveal my scathing review. I only had a short time with the XBox version of Butcher Bay, but there was enough in my play session that easily deemed it worthy of some kind of award. Though the game's design does it's fair share of walking you through the action, it's hard to believe that a game that was supposed to promote a movie turned into such a high quality title. I couldn't stop talking about the engine while playing; it was simply amazing considering that it's completely original. In some respects the environments are comparable to Doom 3 - the textures are similarly brown and lived-in, and all of the characters have decently animated, plastic bodies. I would have preferred a third person option for the stealth-based components of play - Deadly Shadows and Splinter Cell handled a lot better in this regard.

Gaming Event of the Year: World of Warcraft's launch (with the arrival of Half Life 2 a very close second)

I don't think anyone anticipated the reaction to this game. It should most definitely be recognized for smashing PC game sales records and letting people know that MMORPGs can be for everyone. I haven't heard from some friends since the game's release at the end of November. The unparalleled efficiency in which this game absorbs lives is absolutely incredible, even if the game's principles aren't that different from MMORPGs to come before it. I've been putting off getting a copy for this reason exactly, though the lag and overcrowded new character quests are a bit disconcerting as well. Perhaps this is something for the slow summer months.

Most actual fun I've ever had playing a game: Sid Meier's Pirates!

It's really hard to explain what makes this game so great, because as soon as you start describing the courtship of a governor's daughter with an evening of ballroom dancing, or the frustrating search for your lost relatives based on a few landmarks and your entire fleet of pirate vessels in tow, things kind of get lost in the shuffle. Pirates! takes elements of every genre, and blends them into a sweeping adventure. This is a game that you can comfortably occupy your time with, not having to worry about "levelling" or arbitrary mission objectives. Avast!

Worst Game of the Year: Advance Guardian Heroes

Forget the subjectivity of the word "Worst"; this game made me want to destroy my Gameboy Advance. I can't even write a review, as it would be completely worthless to you for all of the profanity and variations of how despicable the game is. Just stay away from it. My suggestion is to find a nice Sega Saturn on eBay and get Guardian Heroes. You're better off.

Most Disappointing Game of the Year: Doom 3

An easy target, but it needed to be said. John Carmack and id software broke our hearts again. But just think of the wonderful games that will arise from the engine's wake!

Game I wished I got to play: Katamari Damacy

It's pretty hard to ignore the buzz around this title, and so I will put in on my "To Play" list for 2005, assuming I can get my hands on a PS2 again. But how, exactly, do you pronounce it? Like, if I wanted to rent a console and a copy of this game. Katta-mahr-ee Dam-ace-ee? Kattamary Dammasee? Maybe when I ask I'll just act like the guy that's renting NFL Street 2 so my ignorance doesn't look out of place.

I never knew what I would find

PC Gamer: the end of an affair

Ever since I got my own PC for gaming, PC Gamer has been on my monthly magazine buying list. I even had a subscription at one point, thinking that it would somehow position my brain in a stream of PC gaming news. As with all magazines, though, you quickly learn that newsstands get it first anyway, with even that superceded the month previous by a glut of gaming news sites that love to harvest exclusive information. This effectively makes magazines almost useless unless you were bedridden on some asteroid in a vacuum sealed stasis pod.

Game magazines in the age of modern gaming is a topic that I have been struggling with for some time, and I've convinced myself they are a necessary evil when internet access is not easily at hand. Though I've come to an impasse where PC Gamer is concerned - I've basically had enough of their antics, and buying a magazine for Greg Vederman's RPG reviews and amusing hardware section cannot in good conscience be defensible any longer.

a strange and distant land

Well, not really. But if you consider that visiting Hong Kong took us the farthest we've ever been from home, it seemed that way at first. Especially when we walked outside of the airport and were suddenly immersed in a completely different culture where we were obviously the outsider, and, if we were lucky, would find someone who spoke a few words of English. Which, not surprisingly, were usually "Sorry" and "Yes". I consider myself sufficiently over the malaise brought on by jet lag and rejoining the daily grind, so I suppose now it's time to reminisce and recollect some of the more interesting aspects of our amazing vacation.

destination Hong Kong

In preparation for my upcoming hiatus, the intent was to release two long overdue reviews that are currently in a backlog that's just sitting on my computer until I find the time to give them the final once-over and post them online. Though I suppose making Doom III my priority was a good thing - it seems that the logical reviews are slowly making their way to the forefront, and will hopefully drown out the initial starry-eyed fanfare spawned by many of the gaming media outlets that managed to secure advance copies. Against my better judgement I plan on finishing the game, in part to spite the few bugs I've discovered and the frustrating swarm tactics used as I get closer to the end, which have caused me to quit the game in bile-choked fits of rage more than once.

But this precarious task will have to wait - for today I embark on a grand journey across the Pacific to Hong Kong. Equipped with my very own copy of Fire Emblem I will set foot aboard a plane for 17 hours to enjoy one of the most heavily populated landmasses in the world for the next two weeks. As noted before the in-laws reside there, and they intend to show us everything it has to offer from a landed Canadian's perspective. I have to admit, my excitement has reached new heights - this is the farthest I've ever traveled in my life. I know that in high school I always had this idea in my head about visiting Japan, whether it was to see Nintendo's world headquarters or pick up an authentic katana; the reasons were kind of lost through the years and the gradual onset of maturity (although The Wife considers this is still up for debate). I'd love to take a few days from our time in Hong Kong to visit Japan, but we'll be going for a jaunt to communist China instead for an equally captivating experience.

I imagine Hong Kong to be a technophile's paradise, among other things. Whether it's buying the latest in electronic gadgetry or picking up those hard to find accessories for my gameboy advance, I will be returning to Canada with a geek's bounty in tow. And, I am certain, many lasting memories.

i've got your picture

Tales of a Scorched Earth: year one

I'll try and make this retrospective as painless as possible - the last thing the web needs is another self-important weblogger trying to justify what they've been using up webspace for. I think this place has come a long way since the self-loathing lad that sprung onto the scene hating on weblogs with reckless abandon. I used to read them all the time with a permanent sneer on my face, but they quickly started melting into a big, chunky morass of half-baked opinion pieces and lame commentary on current events. New ones are started every day just so some person can bitch about life's problems, so realistically it was impossible to keep up.

I knew from the start this site would need focus for a couple of reasons: one, it would provide a solid guideline and virtually endless subjects upon which to talk about, and two, it would prevent me from drifting into the realm of typical weblogs - sites that are essentially hastily constructed soapboxes on which the owners stand, loudly delivering their often randomly strung together thoughts and watching hit counters increase with unchecked fervor.

Games are a pretty specific topic, but this site isn't even in the same zip code as unique. I love games, and the reason I write about them is because I want to share my enjoyment of the hobby with others. I can't tell you how much of a release it has been to discuss Golden Sun or Castlevania or my obsession with World War II shooters instead of blurting out these same thoughts at a random person in EB or some guy playing his GBA-SP in a coffee shop. I'm pretty comfortable with the number of people that read my weblog, but one thing I've made a conscious effort to avoid is referrer log gazing - the tell-tale signs there is nothing better to say (or the lack of restraint to say nothing at all). I write what I feel like, and if it prompts a comment or two then I'm more ahead than I thought.

One thing I've noticed as of late is the amount of time I dedicate to this site. When I originally set out to do this, I mainly intended it to be a record of what I was playing. An exercise in writing game reviews, if you will. I could easily bash out a post or two and be done with it, because I didn't think anyone would actually read it, let alone take it seriously. Much to my amazement, people actually do, and as a result I put an increasing amount of effort into everything I write. I suppose this is a good thing, as it lends a bit more credibility to the articles that can be found here. But it is becoming apparent that I'm spending less time actually playing the games, and more time doing research or writing future articles. This makes me wonder if I'm now just playing to have something to write, or if I still play for sheer love for the hobby. More thought out articles also keeps my posting frequency down, though I keep telling myself I'm replacing quantity with quality. I'm not about to start making apologies for lack of updates, but what I must say is that this site isn't a blog anymore. It won't be updated frequently, as I now consider it a petri dish for ideas and articles that may find themselves elsewhere.

Over the last year I've met some solid people as a result of my site. Specifically Gamma Fodder, Tony "Ratboy" Walsh, and j. kinyeta have provided valuable support and feedback both currently, and in my blog's initial gestation stages last summer. And of course EvilAvatar, who had my banner rotating there for a brief while, bringing in a few new readers that wouldn't have found this place otherwise. I'd also like to acknowledge my IRC peeps, for checking this place out when it first started, telling me it sucks, and then still reading it anyway. But lastly I cannot help but recognize the infinite patience of my wife, without whom I would not have been able to experience the magic that is Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. Any other person would have long since abandoned me as a result of my dangerous obsession with video games.

I wouldn't recommend everyone start a blog. The novelty is indeed amusing at first, but it does take a serious effort to maintain lest it be abandoned and mocked publicly. Another misconception is that a weblog automatically offers some slice of virtual infamy; rather, it does not, because about two million other people had the exact same idea.

How this retrospective took on such a negative slant should show you that weblogs as a whole for me remain ridiculously unimpressive. I will be the first to admit they are fun, and a useful way of categorizing one's thoughts, ideas and experiences. But I'm also a firm believer that the only thing good to come of them is the software - never before has it been so easy to set up and maintain a website with dynamic content.

So thanks for reading. Here's hoping for another year of playing - and writing about - great games.

brains on a brick wall

In 1944

It's really hard for me to let June 6th go by without saying anything, but given that it's been 60 years since the Normandy invasion by the Allies, the so-called turning point of World War II, I feel I should at least throw a few thoughts in between all the retrospectives of major news media outlets. After seeing some of the veterans both on the televised specials on Sunday and at the McCrae Legion here in Guelph somberly pay respects to their fallen brothers lost on that day, it sadly becomes apparent that many of these brave men and women probably won't be around to see another 10 years.

I'm approaching this important event from a gamer's perspective though; after reading a few choice websites and selected books I would hardly classify myself as an authority on the subject. But it takes only the average person's serving of common sense to realize that war is not something that should be acceptable in our day. I'm not about to transform this into a political forum, though, so there's no need to discuss the current situation in the Middle East - it has been done to death by the news media and webloggers alike.

As a gamer - and especially one that tends to gravitate towards realistic war-themed games - I find it a tough subject to tackle, even more so since the first time I played Battlefield: Vietnam. I've seen some attempts to write about the subject, but few have actually managed to put what I feel into words when I play these games. Seeing an endorsement from the American Veterans of Foreign Wars for the anticipated Brothers in Arms makes it even harder. What is the real allure of it all? Should the games really be striving for realism? Perhaps it is all about an underlying thought that you wished you could have been there, to have spilled your blood and that of your fellow man for God and Country, and return home a hero. But not everyone did come home, and as Vietnam and the war in Iraq shows, heroic credibility is not so easily dispatched. In 1939 the call to arms was heeded by all with little question, with promises of adventure and glory waiting on the other side of the ocean. Given what has been learned since, I don't think many of us would do the same now.

I think the question becomes about the process of creating war-themed games. As a subject, the period of 1939-1945 is certainly full of stories that could be told, and re-told as new technologies and game designs arise, and new developers get their hands on the material. There is obviously a demand as well, because they all keep coming. As a gamer, while playing I find it essential that the game is kept separate from the reality of the situation being simulated, as Clive Thompson noted earlier this year. But as someone that is also genuinely interested in the gravity of these stories, the reason they even occurred in the first place, and the repercussions of these actions, it can easily develop into feelings of guilt, shame, and even disgust with an industry that takes almost morbid creative license with such brutal historical events.

the destiny you sold

being outside actually isn't that bad

Contrary to what I once believed, spending a weekend outside and away from the computer isn't half bad. Well, as long as I had my GBA and a couple of good books to read.

I swore I would get some impressions about Beyond Divinity up by this weekend, and thoughts on the Deadly Shadows demo that came out on Friday (watch some unfinished posts to make a pre-dated appearance). Thief 3 - and I can with good conscience call it that - is actually pretty good, and at least maintains the feel of the previous Thief games. After finishing it I felt strangely satisfied, as if responsible for proving wrong all the naysayers and their initial judgements based on the embarassing efforts behind Deus Ex: Invisible War.

it's nice to breathe sometimes

more or less, a year in popular media reviewed

A little late on the retrospective bandwagon, I know. But I've been compiling this list since early November, in the hopes that I might form it into a coherent post. As noted in my 2003 gaming wrap-up, there weren't too many major occurances on the PC gaming front beyond the brazen theft of the Half Life 2 source code, which effectively delayed it for another six months, and now we're hearing Summer 2004. And then there's the disappointing delay of numerous other big-name releases - but I'll get to those in my picks of 2004.

My primary source of entertainment is gaming, but I do manage to take in the occasional movie when I feel like forking over $26 to sit in the eardrum-popping machine or "movie theatre", behind a bunch of noisy kids or clueless adults. And the few music CDs that I do buy are usually ones I've researched or highly recommended by friends, so I did my fair share of borrowing from people last year. I figure I'll start with the bad stuff, because it can only get better from there, right?

christmas plunder

Holidays technically started for me back on the 24th; alas, the week has flown by due to the necessary Christmas family gatherings, my best friend's wedding which has taken me two days to recuperate from, and a visit from the mother-in-law. In terms of presents, the pile you see before you* might be considered a definite surplus.

The better part of Christmas morning and this week was spent exploring the world of Sword of Mana. I was a little disappointed at first by the initial lack of depth, but after putting in the extra time this RPG is just complex enough to make it interesting to play. The story is more than adequate even though it's technically a remake. And for character development there are multiclass options; that is to say that you don't necessarily have to level up as a tank to get through the game's many quests. However there is no multiplay where you can link up and adventure with a friend, but you can download their character stats as an "Amigo": a spirit that can be summoned if you are in dire need during solo play. A nice option to have, but it's no Four Swords.

I put down the hack and slash action of SoM long enough to install the enormous Knights of the Old Republic (at four CDs and a 4 GB install - it's god damned colossal). Could it be that Bioware will be marked forever in history as the one that returned the magic of Star Wars to gamers everywhere? I think I would have it this way, and after barely scratching this superbly crafted RPG's surface I can easily bestow Game of the Year upon its mantle. When first hearing of the game I immediately thought of the excellent Tales of the Jedi comic book series, and as I'd hoped Bioware has flawlessly brought this previously untouched universe to life. In one breath I feel I am playing a well-made mod for Neverwinter Nights, in another I am playing one of the greatest RPGs ever constructed. Let us not speak of the interface; my fears have been assauged.

I noticed that a teaser video for the upcoming Star Wars: Republic Commando was included on one of the KotOR discs. Identified by LucasArts as a "dark and intense first person shooter," where players "perform precision operations deep behind enemy lines in this brutally realistic Star Wars combat experience" while dressed in beefed up clonetrooper armour. Is this LucasArts paying attention to the success of Elite Force and the tactics of the Rainbow Six series, or a throwback to the days of Dark Forces? Sadly, I think I'm looking towards StarCraft: Ghost with greater anticipation, regardless of Blizzard's transgression against PC gamers.

Mario Party 5 has also been keeping us busy during the evenings - with our Gamecube now equipped with four controllers we expect this one to be dragged out for some New Year's Eve shenanigans. The play options and enourmous variety of minigames make this a title that will provide many fun-filled hours of smack-talking and button mashing. Most importantly though, it qualifies me for the Zelda Bonus Disc, which my good friends at Nintendo have informed me is en route.

Luckily the games industry has slowed to a steady hum over the past week, so it was rather easy to get caught up on all the goings-on. The most delicious piece of news I came across was the rumour that the N5 will be backwards compatible (thanks evil). This is where Sony has won over the hordes; being able to go back and play Final Fantasy Tactics on your PS2 is a nice option to have. In an interview at the official Playstation site a November 2004 launch date has been hinted at for the Playstation Portable. I'm expecting a photo of the final design and flurry of developers to jump on board any day now. Any day now...

We also finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean, Gore Verbinski's take on the famed Disney ride. Granted the effects were quite good, I wasn't too impressed with any of the acting. Well, except for Depp's over-the-top pirate, which definitely stole the show. It was hard for me to accept a plot contrivance that was stretched over two hours, and action scenes that were less than inspired. Still, I'm not sorry I saw it. You can thank Uncle Jerry for the sequel that was announced before the original even left theatres.

As noted my full review of Return of the King is in progress. It's been over a week since I've seen the damn thing, and I believe my thoughts on the matter have congealed enough so that I can finally post it. We'll get to that next.

*Blame nowak for the quasi-arty representation of said bounty.

surrendering to the gravity and the unknown

these words aren't just for show

In light of Wednesday's post that talked about the rise of our hobby as an accepted medium, I began to think about our subculture as it is seen by outsiders and the general media. In recent years we've seen the formation of Professional gamer leagues like the CGL which entails real rewards for FPS twitch gamers: prize money, sponsorship, and even infamy in the online gaming circuit.

Most importantly though has been the ascension of amateur game journalism. Back in the day, when the only two choices on the magazine rack were Gamepro or Nintendo Power (an obvious imbalance, but telling of the era) you really didn't have much of a choice of who to turn to. As the hobby picked up steam, the glut of magazines soon followed - EGM, Game Player, Next Gen and the specialist magazines like my beloved PC Gamer. It was easy to provide a scoop then, too - access to the developers and publishers was exclusive. But then along came the internet, the amateur publisher's dream come true.

Sites like Penny Arcade, Evil Avatar, Game Girl Advance, Shacknews and insert credit directly and successfully compete with online media conglomerates like gamespot, ign, and gamespy. These independent sites are becoming the place to go for news and real, unfiltered opinions on the industry. As the media conglomerates rush out and gobble up all the fan sites in an attempt to obtain readership (see IGN and gamespy), corporate policies soon turn these sites into sad parodies of their former selves. The fans want street cred, and that's what they get with the previously listed sites.

I don't kid myself at all about being a "game journalist". I'm not hung up on pretensions; I'm just a guy that loves to play games and write about them, and would completely happy if I could attend at least one E3 in my lifetime. However an article at Game Girl Advance got me thinking this week about what I'm doing. It was written by a gamer who is currently a developer working in the trenches, and finds that his access to code and the methods behind actually making the game have taken the soul out of why he plays. He concludes by saying that games have become boring, because he focuses on the technical details, the design issues, and the gameplay compromises that are blatantly obvious to someone in the field as opposed to just playing. In a way, being obsessed with game subculture and consistently surrounding myself with gaming related information potentially exposes me to the same type of disaffection. I will never make a game, but the bounty of gaming news sites opens me up to a side of the industry the typical gamer might not see, or even care about. Furthermore, writing a review requires a certain amount of analysis beyond the superficial. "This game is rad!" may not be as helpful to someone as a description of the game's graphics engine or a comparitive study with games in the same genre. I always make a point of bringing the most information to the reader, and sometimes this can be tiring. I don't expect their descision to buy a game to hinge on what I've written, but to know that it may help in some way makes the extra effort worthwhile.

But does writing about games take the fun out of it? Does the in-depth, or even cursory analysis of games and gaming ruin the excitement of the hobby? Does reviewing a game completely ignore the developer's intentions? When does gaming stop being fun and just turn into another job? I don't get any compensation. I spend valuable time playing games and formulating reviews in my head simply for the enjoyment of it (much to the disdain of The Wife). I promised myself I would stop if it ever became a job or something I don't enjoy doing. I've never been that concerned with readership or hit counters or visitor comments, but the occasional discussions that happen in the wake of something I've written are definitely encouraging.

On that note I'd like to take a moment to thank EvilAvatar, the webmaster over at Evil Avatar (aduh) for starting a banner program that aims to bring back the sense of community amongst gaming websites that seems to have been lost over the years. I think banners are a fine idea given that EA is considered by many to be a community leader, and not necessarily as just a tool for self-promotion. And best of all, EA is doing it for free. In light of the IGN/Gamespy merger and in-your-face ads being more prominent on the majority of gaming News and related sites, this is a great grassroots effort to share the spotlight with the gamers that love to play and share their experiences with the rest of the world in their spare time. Be it writing a review or drawing a webcomic, the appreciation of the hobby is there - now it has just become that much easier to find.

I'd also like to welcome the new readers that have been directed to this site by the above banner and the mention on Evil Avatar. Feel free to join in the discussion; we won't bite, despite the fact that some of us bloodthirsty psychopaths have played Manhunt.

partir, par terre

A few of my close friends and I took a break this weekend and drove out to Montréal. I think the idea was to consume inhuman amounts of alcohol to celebrate the marriages of two people (ahem) and the 25th Earth-year of one sorry bastard. But before this devolves into a sordid tale of debauchery involving cheap wine and toothless strippers, I'll come to the point. Word of a show featuring The Dears made their way across the breakfast table on Saturday. Instead of paying stupid amounts of money for scalped Canadiens tickets, we decided to head over to the venue that night. It was amazing to see them play live in their home town, and they did not disappoint the crowd with an outstanding performance of their new album. However the show's pinnacle was when they lead into an encore of "Pinned Together, Falling Apart" with a 25-minute jam that was comparable to Zwan's session in the midst of "Jesus, I/Mary Stary of the Sea". Maybe just a bit better. Local band TheBesnardLakes opened for them, and they filled my soul with the hope that Dream Rock might rise again, instead of being delegated to that uncomfortable phase between grunge and britpop of the early to mid 90s.

Afraid I'd fall too far behind my gaming news, I wearily turned on my Game Machine before bed yesterday. Lionhead Studios, who brought you the much acclaimed Black & White, have developed the upcoming Fable. Until recently I believed this game to be an XBox exclusive - and with Lionhead's track record it's easy to see why. However the kindly Avatar pointed out a rumour that this title may be coming to a PC near you. The darkly comical "good or evil" theme borrows a bit from B&W, and once again you are confronted with making these choices for developing your character. Blended together with the typical fantasy setting should make for a very interesting RPG. Check out the official site - the pop-up book is actually a mini-game.

I was also confronted with images of the Playstation 3, which are disturbing. It's very...curvy. The slim design makes me wonder just how Sony is gonna fit in all the good things they promised gamers. One feature that kind of threw me for a loop was the mood recognition. What happens when you get pissed off at the AI for cheating? Does the machine shut off or just laugh at you?

i won't advise, it's full of lies

Update: Turns out that PS3 concept photo I talked about was a fake. It was way more believable than the PSP ones, though, so can you really blame me?

rememberance

Every Canadian worth their salt has seen the truly moving Bell Canada commercial where a young man visiting Dieppe, France phones his Grandfather to say “Thanks”. Every single time I see that commercial (as manipulative as it is) I get teary eyed and realize just how lucky we are to live in this great Country, built by men and women who fought for freedom and the civil liberties we freely enjoy today by making the supreme sacrifice.

I don’t plan on saying much more about Rememberance Day, because the “War on Terror” and that asinine battle in Iraq continues, where young American men and women put their lives on the line every day for a President that continues to lie to his own people. I apologize for taking a political tack today but I just feel this has to be said. Before we got our poppies on the weekend wandering downtown Toronto, I came across a quiet old man who was highly decorated for service during the Second World War. When I asked for a poppy, he said “Sorry, none left,” it was probably the best thing I heard all day. We can never forget those Canadians who answered the call to arms so that future generations would not have to.

I leave you with some additional reading to mark this important day.

gleaming the cube

Married for three weeks. Do I feel any different? Somewhat. Since we didn't live together beforehand it's a bit strange getting used to the fact that we don't ever have to say goodbye. But it's a nice feeling regardless. However something happened recently that amazes me. My wife has expressed a real interest in gaming. Ever since we've been together I've been a gamer and have tried to get her into them. Sure she played Dark Forces and DoTT, but so did everyone...didn't they? This past week she suggested we do a little Warcraft III, followed up by some Diablo II. Where the fuck did this come from? But I'm not complaining - what, do you think I'm insane? The chance to spend quality time with my new wife playing games - I couldn't have it any better.

But after this weekend we are a changed household. This weekend we purchased a Nintendo Gamecube. I mean it was pretty hard to walk away from the lowered price and rebate from EB. And I'll be honest - I've secretly pined for one ever since I got my hands on a GBA-SP.

It's a bit atypical, but somehow fitting that our first big purchase as a married couple was a video game system. Especially when I spent the better part of my youth slamming console gamers and turning to my pixelicious Cosmo or Ancients I at the end of the day, while they feasted on such titles as Chrono Trigger or Samurai Shodown. Bastards.

The two lucky titles we brought home were Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour and the pants-soiling beauty of F-Zero GX. Compared to the blocky mess that was the original F-Zero, this is a huge step for me. I didn't think I'd like the GameCube's controller after trying it one day in my local electronics superstore, but it's already become an extension of my hands. However it's hardly a replacement for my mouse/keyboard. Nintendo, you've supplied me with two very high quality consoles in the last four months and I hereby salute you. Look for some impressions of these games in the near future - and shock, horror! - I actually got to play Metroid Prime for an extended period of time. All I have to say is, look the fuck out. This FPS completely annihilates any preconceptions I have about console gaming.

I crack my teeth on pearls

lateral motion detected

Thanks to some readers for the kind words, but have no fear, this site is far from being abandoned. Personal details ahead: The wedding went perfectly, lots of visiting with family, the gifts, the money - I couldn't be happier. The better part of the last week has been spent moving, so expect this site to go offline sometime in the next couple of days while it's in transport. But don't bother asking what I think of married life yet, because to be honest it hasn't really sunk in for either of us.

Some news on the gaming front - in the wake of the Half-Life 2 source theft, the game might actually be delayed until April 2004. Take Reuters' report with a grain of salt, however, as this may not actually affect the North American release. This is all around a really shitty situation, as Valve were so careful to keep its release secret from the gaming masses. Now we're probably looking at an indefinite delay, since there still has not been any official word from Valve. Piracy of retail games is one thing - but breaking into a developer's computers for unfinished code only to distribute that? It just doesn't make any sense, because it's ultimately the gamers themselves that lose by making an industry that seemed to be just starting to accept its fans into the development process. This set the company back more than I think we all realize.

Gearbox released another patch for Halo PC. This is really looking good on the part of the developers - I may have to pick this one up. I haven't heard much negative fan reaction since the game's release (including rave reviews), and Gearbox appears to be pre-emptively addressing any problems with the game before they become major issues.

And with much hot air and fanfare, the N-Gage was finally released this week. But does anybody care? Not at $300 CDN and that god awful design. Pass me my GBA-SP, please.

new slang when you notice the stripes

street carp

It's amazing how fast ten months flies by. The next six days will be full of stress, agitation, sleepless nights, nagging, preparation, worrying, more stress, tears, happiness, joy, and laughter. I doubt I will be able to get any gaming in, let alone get near a computer. I wonder, would pulling out a GBA at the reception seem tacky? (no need to answer that).

Anyway beyond the needless personal shit I do actually have some gaming related subject matter. I checked out the completely eye-popping trailer for Battlefield: Vietnam which will be heading our way Spring 2004. A little CCR in the background, Hueys flying through the air - it truly is a sight to see. Some tweaks and improvments have been made to the BF1942 engine it seems, but the graphics I'm not really interested in. It's that cinema-styled Vietnam that dice seem to have captured, which can only lead to a great gaming experience.

and instant movie reviews

I'd also like to share with you something I overheard while walking through a Zellers this weekend. Some 8 year old kid saw The Two Towers playing on one of the TVs there.

"Oh look! The Two Towers! That's the one where they run around and stuff!"

Amazing, isn't it?

did you get it? now write it down

a moratorium on the king

I hate McDonald's. It's gotta be the worst shit you could feed yourself. There is no nutritional value in their greasecakes or chicken craplets. I haven't eaten anything from McDonald's since the fall I went to University in 1997. My streak is well known to my comrades, and it was always a pain in the ass whenever we went out to eat. It seems like I almost had to like Burger King by default, as if it was the only True Choice. But today I have come to a personal revalation.

Burger King sucks.

Perhaps I am writing this in a Whopper-induced haze, but I think I know what is best. I am no longer going to partake in the Double Whopper with Cheese combo. As I sat in the onion and grease saturated atmosphere of my local Burger King today, trying to enjoy my lunch, I observed the clientele. Kids, business people, parents - the common folk. I estimate them to be somewhat educated on the matters of nutrition. I then turned to my own mess of a burger, wondering why we have chosen to eat such foodstuffs. There was no answer. Only emptyness, and it frightened me.

There could be any reason for this conclusion, and one of them could be the thought of my kids turning out like this. Or maybe because their burgers were never that great, and I had taught myself to like them through years of fighting off the urge to taste that sweet special sauce once more.

The Whopper was indeed a mighty burger, but today I bid farewell.

stick with it

Please bear with me as I update the site. There will be quite a few broken links, as well as irregular page formatting.

this is not a blog

I assure you. Well, not the typical one anyway.

The only reason I've started this site up is because me and my lazy friends can't get off our asses and make a game review/news site. Instead, I decided to check out movable type, and found that it will provide a handy outlet for whenever I get the urge to write about games. And of course, other stuff. And if you keep coming back to read about it, that would be fine with me.

Mostly, however, I'd like to apoligize to my friend Juan, who has had a weblog for some time. In the past I was very adversarial when it came to weblogging. I mostly dismissed them as being a waste of time, bandwidth, and propogating some sort of weird exhibitionist subculture. God dammit if I haven't been caught eating my own words and clearly hopping aboard the wagon.

In any case, I really don't give a shit who reads this. As long as you enjoy yourselves while you're here.