favorite albums of 2006

It wouldn't be fair to assess the year's best releases in gaming, having missed the most crucial part of the year. But if I had to make a choice in my small sample set, I'd easily select Battle for Middle Earth II for its pronounced improvements over the original (such as its near flawless implementation of scale) and its back-to-rts-basics style of play. While it may not have made any significant contributions to the genre, I can't help but think back and remember how many hours I spent just playing skirmish mode versus the computer.

As was the case last year, I listened to a lot of music with the assistance of my MP3 player. After the baby was born, that's pretty much all I did in my spare moments, because it didn't require any hands. Indeed, there were many Sunday afternoons where the baby and I would nap to Lush or The Clientele or Benoît Pioulard. Naturally, if I felt like rocking out to Forward, Russia! I had to break out the headphones.

The following list is in no particular order. Despite there being a surplus of good music last year, there was no one record that stood above the rest that I found myself listening to over and over again. Though if you ask anyone I know they would probably say it was Kill Hannah, but I'm never going to admit to that.

JPod: the review

"When you read a book, you're totally lost in your own private world, and society says that's a good and wonderful thing. But if you play a game by yourself, it's this weird, fucked-up, socially damaging activity. What sort of narrow-minded moron propagates this lie? When your grandfather plays solitaire, is he isolating himself? Get a grip, people." - Douglas Coupland, JPod

My first warning should have been the tagline inside the dust jacket: "Douglas Coupland updates Microserfs for the Google generation." Is there even a Google generation? I assume that the search engine is so ubiquitous that it makes capturing a particular demographic irrelevant. More accurately, JPod reads like Coupland was using Google to surf for every meme to circulate the Internet in the years since writing Microserfs, and tried to transcribe it to paper. Where Microserfs was comfortable to tell a story at the beginning of the "new economy" wave, JPod desperately tries to catch up with it.

Prey: don't fear the reaper

But make no mistake, Prey is a long way off. "Sometime in '98" were the exact words of the developers. - from Gamespot's 1997 preview

Prey is late, but the gaming press has been oddly forgiving. Originally announced in 1995 and intended to be 3D Realms' follow-up to Duke Nukem 3D, it has seen a very troubled development cycle. It may not have promised to make us its bitch, but I would have expected a lot more than an overly-simplistic shooter that lets you turn into a ghost to walk through forcefields and takes less than eight hours to complete. The reviews may not be outright favorable, but the game receives a passing grade because it may just be the only big-ticket title released at a time when new games are a rare occurence. It also manages to make the most of the Doom 3 engine, even though the end result bears more than a passing resemblance to the other two games to use the engine. I expected a lot more analysis of a game that's taken over 10 years to materialize.

Note: this review tells you what happens in the game. If that doesn't bother you, go ahead and keep reading.

Yoshi's Island

I never played Yoshi's Island for the SNES. The sequel to Super Mario World, one of my favorite games for that platform, was largely forgotten in those transitory years that eventually made me pursue PC gaming exclusively. Games at that time had to compete with the likes of Ultima VIII (which I had convinced myself was being ripped off by Blizzard for Diablo), Command and Conquer, and Dark Forces for my attention. But from what I've read, I don't think I was the only one that was distracted. It seems that the crayon-and-markers art style made some gamers avoid this title, when compared to what was capable with Donkey Kong Country only a year before, despite the critical acclaim that followed. Am I only kidding myself, or was Yoshi's Island really that overlooked?

Titan Quest: it is massive

Apparently I was wrong about Dungeon Siege II; there are still studios out there willing to shamelessly crib from Blizzard's Diablo II design documents. This makes Titan Quest an easy target for criticism. And as much as I enjoy criticizing failed attempts at recapturing Diablo II, I really think Titan Quest has finally done it. There is a suitable storyline that is not overbearing. There are piles of unique looking monsters and a variety of magic weapons to kill them with. There is the unstoppable desire to click on things. Titan Quest appears to get everything right. If only Iron Lore had similarly aspired to attain Blizzard's level of polish, it might have been one of the best games of the year.

Harmony of Dissonance

The Gameboy Advance saw three Castlevania adventures in as many years after its release: Circle of the Moon (2001), Harmony of Dissonance (2002), and Aria of Sorrow (2003). Aria of Sorrow was my first experience with the remodeled portable Castlevania series, and still remains the finest (excluding last year's fantastic Dawn of Sorrow on the DS, of course). At the time of Harmony of Dissonance's release, the step up in visuals combined with a simpler brand of gameplay made it stand out as a worthy successor to the two-dimensional masterpiece Symphony of the Night. The RPG/Castleroid adventure style it adopted and familiar main character made for an easy comparison; whether it deserved the subsequent praise it received is debatable.

X-Men: The Official Game: The Review

X-Men: The Official Game makes an attempt at tying together the events after X-Men United and The Last Stand where you actually get to find out what happens to Nightcrawler. I was fully prepared to write an overbearing examination of why multiplatform games frustratingly insist on low-res menus and keyboard-only input for their PC counterparts. I was going to complain about how after 10 years of 3D platforming there are still a bunch of assclowns out there who can't get a camera right. I would have been sure to demean the bad art in the still cutscenes that only work in a game like Thief that has style to match. I usually take pleasure in disassembling such disposable entertainment as this, but the inadequate collection of moves spread across three playable characters combined with the infuriating controls serve as an excruciating reminder that it's nothing more than a movie tie-in.

New Super Mario Bros.: it's all relative

Did the New Super Mario Bros. have to be made for the DS? After all the thought that went into the handheld's features, is a simplistic, side scrolling platformer really what it needs? Short answer: yes.

Now it's time for the long answer.

the last stand, indeed

If we can expect a sequel after the funeral pyre that was X-Men: The Last Stand, it can be considered a turning point for the series. Similar to what happened to Batman with Batman Forever, the previous two films by the same director had successfully established a universe (despite its liberties with the comic books), created characters out of familiar icons and weaved an adequate storyline that can be enjoyed by comic purists and casual moviegoers alike. With the third installment, we have a new director who clearly wanted to make his mark on the series and added his own "creative vision" to the franchise. The work had already been done for him up to this point, and yet coming on to a project of such popularity and magnitude would probably feel overwhelming for someone still trying to make a name for themselves. Joel Schumacher at least had a track record before picking up the Batman franchise with Batman Forever. He selected two popular actors at the time to play the villains (to this day I have no idea why each Batman film requires two villains - at least Batman Begins handled this tactfully) threw a few cans of neon paint at Tim Burton's world of perpetual darkness and called it a day. Three Batman actors and two directors later, the series seems to be back on track after the serious, grounded-in-reality Batman Begins.

Assuming the X-Men can continue their momentum after the latest installment, can we presume the same treatment of the series?

The Battle for Middle Earth II: Return of the Kings of RTS

I'm tempted to call The Battle for Middle Earth II the best game I've played so far this year. I have yet to experience a game that has gripped me past completing the satisfying single-player campaigns to the point where I look forward to settling down into a nice skirmish, if only to build a fortress and assemble a glorious army. Or perhaps it was the incredible War of the Ring mode, which allows players to wage war on the entirety of Middle Earth and change the outcome of the Third Age. The Battle for Middle Earth II captures the spirit of The Lord of the Rings the way the original game did not. As much style as The Battle for Middle Earth had, it felt like you were given the means to engage in a massive campaign, but the world beyond the borders of the film's story were blocked by glass walls. It was frustratingly limited, but in its own way still managed to contribute to the genre. The Battle for Middle Earth II is the game its predecessor should have been. It has built upon the first game's foundations and created classic real time strategy, rendered to compliment Peter Jackson's celebrated films and the literary work that inspired them.

the stetchkov syndicate

The third mission in SWAT 4: The Stetchkov Syndicate is a perfectly clear example what the game is all about: decision making under pressure. The mission puts you in charge of defusing a hostage situation involving a group of armed maniacs that stormed an auditorium intent on ridding the world of devil-worshipping rock stars. I had approached the stage from the rear with Blue Team backing me up, only to see that one of the perpetrators had taken a band member by gunpoint. I had Red Team come through another entrance to gas the backstage area, but this had no effect. On a catwalk above the stage, another gunman who spotted the standoff opened fire on me and my team. Blue Team returned the fire, killing him - this startled the man with the hostage. My team and I urged the man to surrender. Clearly aggravated, he turned to what he felt was his only option: he shot his hostage and ran offstage. An innocent dies, and a mission fails. SWAT 4 puts a lot of power in your hands as the player. The control of two fire teams to assist in neutralizing hostiles and the arsenal of high-powered automatic weapons to do it with; the ability to preserve life and the power to take it.

the hunted

Is Metroid Prime: Hunters really the best first person shooter for a handheld? More than likely, even though it's probably the only one in the eyes of the average gamer. Some people seem to forget that both Doom and Doom 2 were released on the GBA just a couple of years ago, not to mention the countless number of homebrewed Doom and Quake ports on portable devices. As a finely tuned FPS, Metroid Prime: Hunters certainly delivers what you would expect, carrying over elements from the Gamecube versions that made them some of the best games I've ever played. The controls are suprisingly easy to get used to, but the lack of custom configurations is limiting for those that aren't huge fans of the touch screen and default button assignments for Right and Left handed players. The aiming and "mouselook" with the Thumb-strap felt completely natural as someone who plays FPS on the PC regularly, and I'm impressed how easily this control scheme has been adapted for the DS. As a result, the multiplayer feels fast and action-heavy, and a lot like playing Quake III Arena. The race for the big weapons and bunny hopping to dodge rockets is usually most players' default strategy. The fact that it plays so well without me realizing I'm using a handheld is evidence enough that Hunters has managed to make full use of the DS' abilities. But that's where some reviews seem to end. What about the game?

choose your fate

When people get excited for a game like Oblivion, it gives me hope. It's a single-player RPG released during a period of RPG development where if it's not massively multiplayer, it's not important. It'd be like a step backwards, right? Last year wasn't a great year for games overall, but it was also pretty poor for RPGs. Even I spent most of 2005 binging on World of Warcraft, dragging myself away from it long enough to play through Dungeon Siege II. Which incidentally, has been named best (only?) RPG of 2005 by many media outlets. What struck me as noteworthy was that Wild Tangent's FATE was named runner-up to PC Gamer's RPG of the Year. The same year where the genre was obliterated by a single MMORPG kept out of the running only because it was released in 2004. Granted it's quite the feat to receive that much attention as an independently published title, but that doesn't mean it's a good game.

After playing the three dungeon level demo last year, I wrote FATE off as a clone of Darkstone rather than lazily comparing it to Diablo. The distinction being that it was a clone of a clone, boiling out everything that made its inspiration interesting. My initial impressions were correct after adventuring through seventeen more levels, though now I have more to say about it.

Resident Evil 4: the most overrated game of 2005

"You are Dead," Resident Evil 4 tells me as my avatar gets fried for the fourth time by the trap with erratically moving laser beams. It's this type of hamfisted advice that seems to be the undercurrent of the entire experience. The game isn't content to set up a rustic, chilling atmosphere for you to cautiously explore, and instead offers you many, many reasons on why you should be killing the things on screen, as if the player couldn't figure it out for themselves. If Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer had made a game, I'm pretty sure this is how it would turn out. Only with less plot.

Call of Duty 2: Scripting the Battlefields of World War II

As someone who did everything short of rubbing myself with the box for Call of Duty, my opinions about about what the war shooter genre should be aiming for were dramatically changed after playing Brothers in Arms: The Road to Hill 30 last year. With sequels to both games hitting stores at around the same time last Fall, I made a point of checking out Call of Duty 2 to see if Infinity Ward was adding anything to their award-winning formula. Regrettably, I got the distinct feeling that it was a step backwards when contrasted against my experiences with Brothers in Arms. Or perhaps more accurately, Call of Duty 2 is simply running on the spot.

Day of Defeat

So I finally got to play Day of Defeat after almost 5 years.

I never really got into the mod scene for Half Life when it was out - Counter Strike was as far as I ventured into that territory, and after experiencing that for a while it was almost enough to turn me off of multiplayer FPS forever. You had to keep playing to maintain your skills; it was impossible to keep up.

The long overdue update to the original Day of Defeat mod came out late last year to very little fanfare. I think the launch of Half Life 2 Deathmatch (a free multiplayer add-on) got more attention because of the ability to use the Gravity Gun. This past weekend, Valve opened up Day of Defeat: Source to try for free. I think this pissed off a lot of veteran DoD players.

"Yay, we lost again."
"Fucking freebies…"
"teh awsum!!!1"
"Stop saying that!"
"noob!"
"omg this sucks."
[Disconnected by user]

Colorful community aside, Day of Defeat: Source offers a well planned selection of maps, including noticeably different tactical options in each. Matches are won by the team who is in possession of all the control points on a map, which are represented by flags. The U.S. Army and Wehrmacht have six classes, each fairly well balanced and serving a necessary role on each team. The Machine-Gunner, for example, would never run around firing their weapon, but instead sets up near control points to act as a defense that does greater amounts of damage. One thing I noticed is Valve's attention to realism on this game: you cannot run around a fire a weapon at the same time and expect to maintain any kind of accuracy. You must kneel, go prone, or run the risk of dying when you run into a room with your Thompson or MP40 blazing. In that sense, Day of Defeat imparts a framework for those willing to develop careful strategies for offense and defense. Though in my 8 hours with the game I never once saw this happen; there was more running after frag counts or stepping into an obvious line of fire, undoubtedly a result of the overbearing ratio of new players to experienced ones.

It's only $19.95 US to buy, but for an online-only game that doesn't offer much else than standard deathmatching - well, deathmatching with the capture of control points - I'm hard pressed to think of any reason why I'd keep playing. Both the original Call of Duty, Call of Duty 2 and of course Battlefield 1942 offer the same type of play - albeit in a lighter, fluffier arcade style - and they all have the lonely option of playing with…yourself. It's something that's sorely lacking from a fast paced game such as this, where practice can make all the difference between fun and unbridled frustration.

game of the year 2005: SWAT 4

SWAT 4 is a masterpiece of the tactical first-person shooter genre. It is also the best game that was released in 2005.

auto assault: traversing irradiated highways

In the future, there are cars with guns. Lots of guns. There are vast, unending reaches of post-apocolyptic wasteland to explore, in varying shades of brown and grey. And sometimes it rains, making the polluted atmosphere almost tangible as your headlights attempt to penetrate the gloom. Then the mutants come, the pallor of their tainted skins reflected in your high-beams. You mow them down with machine gun fire, one by one, running over a few for good measure. But they don't die. The machine gun only does 1-2 damage. The mutants rise again after your 2 tonne vehicle just ran headlong into a crowd of them. Something isn't right here.

Welcome to Auto Assault.

Civilization IV: standing the test of time

I am always drawn to the endless ebb and flow of creation and destruction in grand strategy games. Whether it's on a single battlefield, amongst the spires of a bustling metropolis, or across an entire planet, seeing something grow before my eyes that has been built because I commanded it to be done, is an exhilarating feeling. Civilization IV only serves to fortify my affections for the series, and the genre as a whole.

castlevania: dawn of sorrow

I find Castlevania in its current form irresistible.

As much as I love to complain about a lack of exciting new concepts in games, Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow continues to refine the formula that makes the portable version of this series so appealing. When you aren't mentally replacing the main character with one that wears bionic armour, the gameplay remains gripping. The need to collect better armour, weapons and more powerful spells (the souls that first appeared in Aria of Sorrow) drives the game forward. Ever since Symphony of the Night, Castlevania has turned into a kind of "Castleroid", adopting the exploration to acquire new power to unlock new areas methodology. Though what Castlevania adds is experience points. It gives purpose to repeatedly visiting the same rooms during those long sessions of trying to figure out where to go next. Except this is not really an RPG, because the player has no control over the main character's stat progression. And yet somehow the entire system manages to work.

mario kart DS

It's hard to imagine a Nintendo console without a version of Mario Kart. Ever since the mold was cast on the SNES, there have been numerous imitations. Even Nintendo's own following iterations didn't seem to capture the same charm as the original. This time Mario Kart DS provides the entire package, borrowing only those components from its ancestors that worked well and created one of the best games I played last year.

top 5 albums of 2005

Getting an ipod mini has enabled me to appreciate music again, even though in the span of roughly 8 months it has become another New Relic. It's all too easy to expose myself to new music when I have the capacity to browse multiple records at once. Coupled with my iTrip I never had to listen to the radio again.

But first, a preamble to the year of music that was 2005: If I hear of one more band with the word "fire" in their name, I will scream. I am serious about this - I will scream and you will hear me, wherever the fuck you are viewing this hypertext from. And as for Wolf Parade making their way onto year end lists left and right - I say again that copying someone else makes you unoriginal. You might as well be listening to Funeral again you pretentious twats.

How the fuck did I get so off track? This is supposed to be a best of list, not my intense hatred of Pitchfork Media made flesh. The following albums are the best things I listened to all year. And I force fed myself a lot of polished turds based on some of these.

gunstar super heroes

I've decided to share a few words about Gunstar Super Heroes, the recently released follow-up to the Genesis classic, because it has me completely turned around.

My initial skepticism was rightfully deserved, as the wounds of disappointment I sustained while playing Guardian Heroes Advance continue to bleed to this day. That games are still being published for the GBA is a revelation in itself; the fact that an excellent 2D side scrolling shooter has been made available at this point in its lifespan is doubly surprising.

What initially gripped me was the game's speed. Gunstar Super Heroes runs smooth. Actually, forget that - the game runs as smooth as my fondest memories of Gunstar Heroes. It made me remember the days where we convinced ourselves the term "blast processing" actually possessed technical weight. Compared with my experiences with Guardian Heroes Advance - a game that single-handedly made me question the existence of a special hell for gamers - this was reason enough to embrace the game immediately. But.

Similar to Metal Slug Advance, the game is limited by its number of levels. Someone proficient in the 2D side scrolling shooter arts will likely surpass the game's extremely diverse levels within an afternoon. Once you complete the first mission, the four following missions are available to be completed in any order, though it does completely obliterate the game's forgettable storyline. A "final" stage and giant boss battle are encountered at the end of these four missions. Once again Treasure has produced some legitimately challenging bosses, complete with their over-the-top appearances and attacks. In a bid to prolong the game, you're dumped to the menu screen every time you die, forcing you to continue from the beginning of the level. As usual, pattern recognition becomes the only gameplay strategy.

Disappointing was the lack of cooperative multiplayer, which is how I got most of my enjoyment out of the original Gunstar Heroes. The game lets you begin as either Red or Blue, offering a different selection of starting weapons and moves and a slightly different perspective on the same story, but it's no replacement.

I was bothered by the need for Treasure to lead off every level with some kind of "vehicle" or "flying" sequence, where you're on a jet or flying a helicopter over a cityscape replete with skyscrapers. Because each sequence is so different, they require a brief learning period to adapt to the change in controls and environment. Still, when it got down to the actual running and shooting, I was appeased. All the weapon power-ups from the original Gunstar Heroes - including some new ones - are available, and for a few moments it felt like I was playing the same game, familiarity clouding my ability to judge quality. Nevertheless, I remained most impressed with the style of gameplay that was so effortlessly maintained throughout the game.

As the DS continues to gain momentum in the portable gaming market with its many holiday releases, it's heartening to see that simple affairs like Gunstar Super Heroes are still worth pursuing by developers. While I can understand the need to supply games for the GBA given that Nintendo's official position on the DS is that it is not the follow-up to the GBA, the release of Advance Wars: Dual Strike, Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow and Lunar: Dragon Song has shown that traditional 2D titles can offer something more than a pushbutton experience. That being said, a game like Gunstar Super Heroes would almost certainly fail in any context other than the GBA. As the shift towards graphical prowess permeates the handheld market, it becomes harder to determine who plans to sustain this genre.

I found that essence rare

review: age of empires III

Next to Brothers in Arms, Age of Empires III was one of my most anticipated titles of 2005. After seeing the preview videos that exhibited its beautiful graphics and incredible use of physics, I was expecting an RTS game to dethrone Rise of Nations. This was not the case. Instead, the game's pedigree is undermined by an incredibly trite single-player campaign that teaches you more about brute force tactics than its historical content. My full review is over at Clickable Culture.

the intense clicking of evil

The more I played Dungeon Siege II, the more I came to terms with its shoddily constructed story, infuriating party limitations and repetitive clicking. Don't let that be some kind of disclaimer, however - I'll be god damned if this isn't the best time I've had with a single player action RPG in recent memory. Opinions on its quality have changed very little since my impressions of the demo; seeing the full version has only galvanized my belief that this game truly is the successor to Diablo II. You can find my full review over at Clickable Culture.

meteos: not quite tetris

Comparisons have been made between the release of the PSP and its flagship Lumines and the original Game Boy that allude it's some measure of the platform's success. These comparisons would be entirely valid, too, except for the fact that Lumines is a separate purchase from its already overpriced do-all platform. Tetris came with the Game Boy, and for some people that's all they ever played. Reviews claim that Lumines is the only game you will need for the PSP. Let's contrast the DS. Released four months previous, the standout launch title was Super Mario 64 DS. An excellent port, but it doesn't promote the short game sessions portable gaming should be striving for. It's also not a title that embodies the unique gameplay opportunities gestating within the DS.

Polarium was a puzzler released for the DS earlier this year to noncommittal reviews: it used the stylus, to be sure, but the gameplay was dreadfully uninspired. The color scheme was equally boring, and the game wouldn't seem out of place on a cellphone. DS owners were left feeling cold. Until some colorful blocks started falling from the blackness of space.

fire emblem: the sacred stones

One of the stranger things about Fire Emblem (GBA) was that your character was outside of the game. Specifically, you were identified as the "tactician", and instead of fielding each battle with an avatar you would be commanding the characters in your party. It was a bit odd during the cutscenes when the characters started talking to you, because it's not like you had a choice as to how the story was directed - a feature that may have made the whole tactician aspect a little more valuable. You didn't even get to pick and choose who got to join the group as the outcome of those scenes was predetermined.

Intelligent Systems has returned this year with another Fire Emblem, entitled The Sacred Stones. Dropping the tactician approach, the game follows the main characters, Prince Ephraim and Princess Eirika, who have been ousted from their homeland by a treacherous neighboring kingdom and must gather an army to take it back. It's your typical adventure story where a ragtag bunch must come together and fight the forces of evil, and there's nothing wrong with that. What I don't like, however, is the lack of any new features. Everything is exactly the same.

You could accuse this of the Golden Sun series as well: after all, The Lost Age was just the same game following the adventures of a different set of characters. Though as an RPG/Adventure, Golden Sun allowed the player to participate in the story as it happened, whereas Fire Emblem is unfortunately limited to telling you the story through cutscenes with talking heads. While the art may be very appealing, the dialogue is as campy as ever and rarely was I surprised about what transpired. This is nothing against the gameplay itself, however, as it remains a highly competent turn based strategy game (and vastly different from the previously mentioned Golden Sun). You're just looking at the same tilesets, character avatars, and battle animations. Since the battles are the core of the game, they should at least appear fresh and interesting. What would have made this outing of Fire Emblem a little more palatable is the inclusion of a map editor, something that Intelligent Systems put into Advance Wars 2.

The storyline, then, should be the one aspect of this game that makes you want to continue playing. For me, though, it wasn't. The enormous cast of characters lends itself well to some interesting situations, and a wide spectrum of personalities that eventually make up your army. You may even grow to love certain characters, playing the game to see what happens to them and ensuring they survive. The permanent death of your characters was one of the best features of the Fire Emblem series, because it made you value each character's contribution to the campaign. Pegasus Knights may be weak, but they are usually the only ones able to rescue another character from immediate danger - an ability that allows you to save your most powerful troops. Despite all this, the big picture is lost amidst the story arcs and flashbacks in some kind of fantasy soap opera, and I began to get agitated waiting for each cutscene to be able to play through the next map.

Fire Emblem is certainly one of the best turn based strategy games I've played, coming close to Final Fantasy Tactics Advance in terms of its addictive qualities. However The Sacred Stones feels more like an expansion, not a sequel. This should be great news for fans of its predecessor, but it doesn't really offer much except more of the same. It makes me wonder why this game was even made, given the DS will be seeing Advance Wars DS this August. Why not just make a version of Fire Emblem for the DS, introducing the use of the touch screen that we've heard so much about? I find it hard to accept that Nintendo is trying to extend the life of the GBA when their latest handheld is capable of so much more. The Sacred Stones may have a different ending, but if getting there requires viewing all-too familiar scenery it hardly makes the voyage worth travelling.

I believe I can see the future

Revenge of the Sith: closing the circle

Short answer: I loved it. This movie was woven from the same fabric of the Star Wars I remembered. It tied everything together, and left nothing to criticize except minutiae that can only be dreamt up by fanboys such as myself. Which is largely going to be the content of this review, if I can even call it that. The usual warning against spoilers applies, but I'm sure the only people reading this are the ones who have seen it anyway.

trial of the isle

I never thought I would see the day where a company like SOE would issue a completely stand-alone demo of an MMORPG that's only been out for four months. That's what you get in Everquest II: Trial of the Isle, a 16 MB client and close to 24 hours worth of updates. Now that World of Warcraft has reached 1.5 millions users worldwide, Everquest II is looking pretty meek in comparison - even next to its predecessor. It's also quite telling that Everquest II is now selling for about $39.99 CDN, while World of Warcraft is still at its launch price of $59.99-69.99. I thought I would give Everquest II the benefit of the doubt with this seven day trial, and try and get an idea about what it was offering. In a couple of words: not much.

been there, Saw that

"I fell asleep in my shithole apartment and wake up in an actual shithole." - Adam

So begins Saw, a modern horror/thriller that tried so hard to be Seven, but ends up being diversionary entertainment. The premise is mysterious: two men wake up on opposites sides of a dingy bathroom with their legs cuffed to pipes while a blood-drenched body lies motionless in the middle of the room, quickly setting the tone for the entire film. Like Seven, dingy setpieces and rumpled characters are the norm. Adam (Leigh Whannell, the screenwriter) is an angst filled twentysomething that appears to be innocent. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes) is a self absorbed doctor that has an idea who might have put them there. They each receive a hacksaw, obviously too dull to saw through the heavy chains. The mind begins wandering into dark places.

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

The first thing I noticed when I started playing The Minish Cap were the graphics. It's easy to be distracted by them when the only other Zelda game available for the GBA was simply a faithful remake of a game that came out 13 years prior. The Minish Cap blends visual elements from the GBA multiplayer adventure The Four Swords, and the storybook charm of The Wind Waker. Though the game will introduce you to a few new magic items, everything about it feels comfortably familiar. You've seen these puzzles before, and the entire meta-concept of searching multiple dungeons to complete a set of trinkets to make things right again is nothing new for the Zelda universe.

The Minish Cap begins with Link and Princess Zelda taking a leisurely walk through Hyrule Town. Events transpire, and once again Zelda is held captive by being turned into stone and it's up to you to rescue her. You might recognize the evil wizard Vaati from previous Zelda adventures, but the Minish Cap is set during Link's younger years and so it is assumed that this is your first encounter with him.

Link's age is actually an important part of the story. See, The Minish or "Picori" are a race of tiny people who used to have an alliance with the residents of Hyrule. Things went sour, and now only children can see them. In fact, it got to the point where everyone thought the Picori were just a fairy tale. But after Zelda's unfortunate curse the King requires the help of the Picori, for only a Minish smith is able to re-forge the Picori blade with the Four Elements and free Zelda from her stony prison. So it's up to Link to enlist the assistance of the Picori, in the process gaining a talking hat that bestows the ability to become small, unlocking an entirely different world.

The first dungeon makes you appreciate this microscopic aspect of Hyrule, because the dungeon's boss is simply a common monster you would find in your normal size. Some of the areas you wander through - such as a forest floor where you walk under leaves, or a mountain top where you're dodging rain droplets further these impressions. Solutions to many of the game's puzzles also require you to shrink yourself, revealing some of its most creatively designed environments.

To further spite those that thought multiple Links running around in The Four Swords (GBA) and Four Swords Adventures was simply a gameplay contrivance, The Minish Cap goes out of its way to enforce the reasoning behind why Link can clone himself to complete particularly challenging pushing or lifting exercises. With each new element you forge into your sword, you will gain the ability to create a ghostly version of yourself to aid you in completing some of the puzzles.

The Minish Cap makes an amusing addition to the Zelda gameplay oeuvre with kinstones: pieces of medallions scattered across the land. As expected, Kinstones are very lucky indeed, and "fusing" them with the game's many NPCs will unlock secret areas where rupees or pieces of heart are held, but mostly just more kinstones. It's actually pretty useless in the game's overall scheme, because it's not like the developers can predict who you'll fuse with or which kinstones you'll uncover. One dungeon requires you to fuse kinstones with guardian rocks to open the entrance - but those can be found within the dungeon area. It's not like they pull a Metroid Prime 2 and make you wander the fucking planet.

The Minish Cap's definitive triumph lies in the presentation. It takes elements of Link's previous adventures and makes the entire concept feel fresh and exciting, to the point where it possesses your waking thoughts. Probably the only valid complaint I've heard is the game's length. By comparison A Link to the Past is epic, and playing only the first third of the re-release of Ocarina of Time on the Gamecube shows no end in sight. Though like Link in the Minish Cap, there's something to be said about a pint sized adventure in such a beautifully rendered world.

let the travel begin

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

It's hard to get a grasp on the storyline in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, because I haven't played Kingdom Hearts. It's intended to bridge the gap between Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts 2, but doesn't do much to bring the player up to speed. Instead, most of the story in the game is focused on Sora retrieving his memories, and finding his friend Riku who I'm assuming was a character in the original game. You meet up with a lot of familiar faces from both the Final Fantasy and Disney universes, but in terms of motivation I felt none; instead my playing was intently focused on Chain of Memories' card-based battle system.

The premise behind Chain of Memories is that you are trying to recover lost memories, taken away by the shadowy figure seen in the opening cutscene. The path to your objective lies in the ominous looking Castle Oblivion, a place where nothing is what it seems, and everything revolves around cards. Each room in the castle, your party members, and every one of your special abilities is represented by a card. I was fascinated by this concept, because the way the rooms are generated is simply using one of the many cards you find on your journey. My mind tried to comprehend the infinite replayability this game would have.

Castle Oblivion is set up as a series of levels, going up. Before each level, you have the option of using one of your "World" cards based on Disney's films such as Alice in Wonderland, Aladdin or Hercules. Square even included Halloween Town from The Nightmare Before Christmas, which was a lot of fun to play. After you've established what will be contained in your current level of the castle, you now have the ability to create the actual rooms of the level. When you reach a doorway, you will use one of your "Map" cards to create the room beyond it. This method is used until you've created an entire floor. The story is picked up with a series of special map cards, with the doors you will use them on being pretty obvious. You will get more "story" map cards after completing each story room, and because the location of each of these special rooms is random, it keeps players from skipping through the level prematurely. This would probably be a stupid tactic anyway given what usually waits for you at the end of each level.

A casual review from a friend told me how great the original Kingdom Hearts was at creating unique worlds based on each of Disney's beloved films. However, while each world in Chain of Memories is clearly inspired by the source material, they look more like a series of tiles with randomized doorways. The castle feels like a patchwork; there is no real flow to each level. The concept seemed sound in theory, but I suppose the unpredictable method by which game content is created is at fault. It would be next to impossible to create a seamless game world when the player is left to make decisions about its arrangement. I can forgive the level design's transgressions when the card system is really intended for combat.

When you start the game, you are given a rudimentary deck containing a few melee moves and a healing spell. You also start with a set number of "Card Points" (read: mana) that put a limit on how many cards in your deck you can have and the potency of each. You can add the cards of spells or passive abilities to your deck gained from killing enemies. You also earn special attacks after killing the game's many "boss" characters, like Hades from Hercules or Jafar from Aladdin. Again, this seemed like a great concept in theory, but when it came time to actually use this system in fast paced combat it became more irritating than novelty.

Like Tales of Symphonia, you see wandering monsters on each map that can be avoided if necessary. Battles consist of Sora or the opposing monster using cards to perform attacks. Cards with higher value will win of course, but a zero card can cause what is called a "Card Break". Card Breaks are important to combat, because as the name implies, they nullify ("break") the attack or series of attacks your opponent was performing and allow you to move in with a spell or powerful combination. After a certain number of cards have been played, you must "shuffle" your deck, which leaves you vulnerable. Depending on how many cards you've put in your deck, you will start to lose cards after each shuffle, though they are restored once combat is finished. Once you've slain all the enemies on screen, who sometimes even respawn a few times, you are awarded with a map card.

Now if combat had been turn based this probably would have been a lot easier, though presumably less of a challenge. When you start fighting the more powerful enemies and boss characters, however, you'll find your deck just doesn't stack up. As a result, combat in Chain of Memories becomes less interesting and more about loading your deck with zero cards, healing spells and high-numbered melee attacks. Real time combat just doesn't suit this method of play, because it allows no flexibility to flip through your deck to find the right cards or card combinations when you're faced with multiple enemies at once. In the more difficult boss battles you may even run out of cards (yes, this does happen).

Another point that made this system frustrating is the way it handled party members. From the beginning of the game, Donald Duck and Goofy are your companions. Though they don't wander the game world with you, they're delegated to cards in your deck. The same goes for people you meet along the way, such as Aladdin or Jack Skellington, each bringing a special attack into the fray. But these cards aren't intrinsically part of your deck, you have to earn them. See, while all the action is going on around you, the cards representing your party members are dropped randomly onto the battlefield. And they don't stick around forever, either - you have to chase after them. Moreover, taking a page right out of my "I Hate Experience Orbs" book with Fable and Advance Guardian Heroes, Chain of Memories makes you run after those as well. Oh, the humanity.

Once you proceed to a new level in Castle Oblivion, the entire preceding level is "erased" and will have to be "built" again with new cards. I guess this is good for people that want to build up their character with experience. Even though the rooms don't differ that much, there's no shortage of enemy encounters. The game does its best to push things forward, though, and I think that players intent on building a high-powered deck, or more than one deck, would gain a lot from going back through the castle and replaying areas.

Once you finish the game, you have the option of replaying as Riku, the friend you're looking for during the game. You also unlock a vs. mode that you can link up and challenge friends to card battles with, and I guess see who's deck is stacked with the most zero cards.

I don't like Disney cartoons. I find them repetitive and uninteresting. Young outcast searches for their place in the world, finds love and/or true friendship, insert Oscar-nominated song, etc. Give me more cartoons like Secret of Nimh and I'd be happy. Anyway, the point is that I wasn't dry-heaving while playing this game; it was actually very amusing to interact with all the characters and Disney-inspired worlds for a while. But the entire game is centralized around Sora's memories. Are the characters real? Are they imagined? Why is Sora forced to do battle with the Heartless again, meeting up with old friends from Final Fantasy that don't even remember that they fought together before? I couldn't help but feel Chain of Memories was meant to be filler; Kingdom Hearts 2 has already been delayed and from the developer's standpoint perhaps they didn't want this GBA title to mess with the storyline. So instead of providing an interesting story to offset the imbalanced combat, you have a game that basically lays a trap door under your feet, giving the story the option of completely turning on you with "Whoops! It was all a dream...". I hate that. The card concept in Chain of Memories feels like the beginning of a new lineage of games to use this feature, and as such I can give it some credit. But considered as an RPG it feels only half-realized, and in the end, falls short of an unreserved recommendation.

like memories they have disappeared

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines

Edited January 14, 2005

Appearances can be deceiving. A central theme in Vamipre The Masquerade: Bloodlines, what the world chooses to believe has great effect on what they see. The principle behind White Wolf's World of Darkness is that an entire universe lies in the shadows of our world, hidden by the denial of beliefs deemed superstitious or the machinations of an unseen hand. And what lies beneath Bloodlines' rough exterior is one of the best RPGs I've played in a long time.

As a finished product Bloodlines should be an embarrassment. The first developers to use Valve's brand new Source engine can't even put together decent looking textures, and barely comes close to imitating the amazing lip-synching that went into the characters of Half Life 2. There are obvious typos in the dialog options, graphical slowdowns, and the same sound stuttering that became such a problem with Half Life 2 before it was patched. Watching my Tremere neonate prance around the screen and dance wildly at bars while attempting to seduce people for my next meal felt shameful. To be honest, I thought I had made a mistake picking up this game. But to take Bloodlines at face value is to set yourself up for disappointment. I've dismissed games with fewer bugs than this, and if there is one game that deserves a second chance it's this one. Bloodlines' ultimate undoing is that you have to dig deep to truly enjoy the story presented in its immersive world.

full spectrum warrior

Earlier this year I had some pretty heavy comments for the 60th anniversary of D-Day, where I started to question my interest in realistic, war-based games. I think everyone should, to be honest, because there comes a time where you have to draw the line between entertainment and out-and-out morbid fascination, or at least realize there's a difference. War themed shooters are becoming increasingly realistic, and although realism is something these games should strive for, I'm not sure gamers should be accepting it so unconditionally.

When I initially heard about Full Spectrum Warrior, it was advertised as an officially sanctioned product from the U.S. Army and so I mentally filed it alongside the existing cleverly designed training simulator of America's Army. Having the support of the organization you're trying to emulate lends a truckload of credibility, but the screens made it look too close to reality. Indeed, you could say that about any war-based game, but with the war ongoing in Iraq my conscience couldn't take the perception of guilt for participating in a pantomime of current events. Nevertheless, reviews stating the unconventional approach to playing the game eventually won my interest, and I was curious just to see what Full Spectrum Warrior was all about.

metal slug advance

After Resurrection of the Dark Dragon, Metal Slug Advance was to be the next major event on the Gameboy Advance for me. Its first delay from a summer release gave me the excuse to pick up the thumb-numbingly good Astro Boy: Omega Factor, which I killed time with while travelling around Hong Kong. Also a side scrolling action game, Omega Factor reminded me why 2D platformers aren't dead, and in fact can still feel fresh and interesting while dipping into fond memories of gaming's collective subconcious. Metal Slug Advance is not one of these games.

You can't expect much of a story going into a game like Metal Slug, and so it comes as no surprise that there isn't one in this incarnation. At the beginning of the game you choose from two new characters to the series: Walter or Tyra. Though it makes little difference, unless you've been waiting all these years to play Metal Slug as a woman. Why not make this a co-operative multiplayer affair? Two players blasting away on-screen would certainly lower the difficulty later on, but at that point the game would need at least another five levels.

Still firmly baked in the mold of past efforts, Metal Slug drops you into a series of familiar-feeling levels, gun in hand, and politely asks you to destroy everything in sight. You'll have various power-ups at your disposal - whether found in crates or given out by rescued hostages, as well as the series' namesake, a sturdy tank with a sizable complement of weapons. The difficulty that the series is known for is also here, and though the first two levels lull you into sense of security, it only gets harder from there. What annoyed me the most were the respawning enemies - no matter who you cut down in your path, changing screens will redraw those enemies and you'll have to kill them again. This essentially makes the strategy "run and gun" in the purest sense - you really can't stop without taking damage. One thing I would have liked is the ability to shoot diagonally, like in the Metroid series. While you can run and shoot upwards, it's impossible to shoot at someone on higher ground on the opposite side of a chasm or long drop.

The seemingly random distribution of weapon power-ups echo the feel of whenever you stumbled upon a power-up in Contra; the excitement of getting spray fire knew no bounds. But as soon as you died, you lost it and were reverted back to the basic rifle. Problem is, power-ups in Metal Slug Advance are finite - and you can thank the addition of the health bar for that. Instead of the "one shot death" traditional to Metal Slug, you have hit points. When a weapon power up runs out of ammo, you revert back to the basic pistol regardless of how many hits you've taken. Forcing you to use a power-up until its gone seems wasteful - especially when there are much tougher and bigger enemies that you could be saving them for. CT Special Forces, a game mostly dismissed as a Metal Slug knockoff, has an equally varied arsenal that you can switch between as needed.

Aside from the addition of a health bar for your character, Metal Slug Advance's unique feature is a series of 100 cards found throughout the levels that can enhance your abilities, or in some cases unlock some hidden "dungeon" areas within a level. The catch is that you have to finish each level with them in your possession, because that's the only time your progress will be saved and you can use the benefits of the cards in later levels. Any death and subsequent restart of an area will negate any card-collecting you've done up to that point. As it was with Resurrection of the Dark Dragon, the addition of a card system to a port of an old game achieves minimal results.

The levels certainly appear to be part of the Metal Slug lineage, and since the game takes place on a nondescript tropical island you don't expect much in the way of varied terrain. From beach fronts to ancient underground ruins, though, the game still suprises in some respects. Metal Slug Advance has five levels in total, each increasing in size and difficulty. The levels are in turn broken up into smaller sections, allowing you to continue from those points if you die. It isn't the same as a save point, though - for that you have to finish the entire level. This becomes a problem later in the game when the boss battles become longer and drawn out. I turned my GBA off in frustration after many failed attempts at beating the game's bosses, and for doing that you have to start the entire level over again.

It's probably unfair to call it a rail shooter - I mean it is a side scrolling action game after all. I just felt like I was on a conveyor belt with my thumb constantly pressing the "Fire" button. And with the amount of enemies on-screen at any given time, that's basically the way you've got to play it. You only have to look as far as the "Options" menu - there is a choice to turn on Auto-fire or you'll find yourself repeatedly tapping the fire button. I can't help but contrast this against CT Special Forces, which coaxes you along, but you still feel like you're exploring the levels. There are occasional obstacles that require backtracking, or the scaling of a mountain cliff only to parachute to safety below. Not to mention the inclusion of a few top-down helicopter flying missions reminiscent of Desert Strike. The gameplay felt more varied, instead of the obvious repetition and course memorization that you're subjected to in Metal Slug Advance.

In the fall, SNK Playmore announced it would be taking Metal Slug to 3D on the PS2. Though they aren't the only one - Hip Games revealed that CT Special Forces would be given the same treatment in a behind-the-shoulder 3D action game. While it may seem like a good idea to push these franchises into the third dimension, I've said in the past that this does not always result in a successful game. Why the Gameboy Advance has been delegated the position of holding fast the traditions of 2D gaming is a wonder; I honestly believe that extrapolating the success of Viewtiful Joe should be pursued by other developers.

Like Resurrection of the Dark Dragon, Metal Slug Advance is visually a faithful recreation. Any fan of the series would be hard pressed to argue that. But in terms of new gameplay additions, I wouldn't classify this game as anything other than a cash-in on a well known franchise. The game length is artificial, extended through the difficult, enemy-packed areas and no mid-level saves. And once you're done, the bitter taste of the heart rending boss battles will make you cringe at the thought of picking it up again. Metal Slug Advance's card system may provide some extended play for obsessive completists, but I'm reluctant to recommend it for anyone's holiday playlist.

he slept through half the show

the thousand year door

The amount of new games released in the past two months is absolutely staggering. I was hoping to have played most of the big name releases by now, but I am so far behind I might as well wait until the Christmas rush is over. This is partially due to my current adventures in Bloodlines' carefully crafted World of Darkness, and the possibility of injecting the final version World of Warcraft into my playlist. Publishers are going to wonder once again why nobody buys their obscure yet critically lauded games, and we will see another round of sequels. A vicious cycle.

So I sat down with Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door a few weeks ago, in a halfhearted attempt to balance the amount of violence in the games I was playing. If I had to summarize the experience in a word, it would be "cute". Never nauseatingly cute, but then again it might not be the best choice of words for anyone that's looking at this game seriously. Paper Mario certainly provides a pleasant, innoffensive adventure, but in terms of lasting enjoyment I can think of better ways to spend my gaming time than reading an endless torrent of dialogue bubbles.

I never played Paper Mario, so my only real basis for comparison to the gameplay is Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, something I played almost non-stop on the plane ride home from Hong Kong. The storyline feels like an amalgamation of past Mario adventures: we have the mysterious island from Sunshine, the seven stars from the Super Mario RPG and the otherwordly door from Mario Land 2: The Six Golden Coins.

I imagine The Thousand Year Door was primarily aimed at kids; or at least that's what it feels like. The bright, colorful graphics, the excellent character design, the simplistic, coordination-driven combat system and accessible storyline would make this a title any fledgling gamer could pick up and enjoy. But I think where the game falters is its delivery - there are just way too many dialogue trees to sift through to gather the important information for your quests, and I found the game's difficulty increased a lot faster than I anticipated.

In combat, timing is everything. And for attacks, this is not a problem. However defending is, as for most monsters it won't be entirely obvious how to defend against them. In Mario and Luigi, every monster has a little action they do to let you know how they are attacking, and you are able to prepare a defense, or possible counter-attack. I found that no matter how well I thought I timed everything, the best I could do was dodge. There is also an "audience" during the combat sequences combat, and depending on how well you're doing you draw in new viewers who contribute to your "Star Points", which in turn enable you to perform power moves or combos with party members. This is kind of a play off of Mario's fame within the game world; it seems everyone you talk to is extremely honored to meet you and enthralled with your many exploits.

You gain party members as the game progresses, and their special abilities will enable you to visit previously inaccessible areas. Paper Mario can also learn his own share of abilities: he can fold up into a paper airplane and fly over chasms, or a boat to cross a raging river. The Zelda-MetroVania approach has been done countless times, but in order to keep me interested there has to be some really cool abilities in sight, an exciting meta-goal that will keep me picking up the game. But there wasn't any of that, and after a while the game stops being fun. Though I was impressed by a boss battle that I felt would be a typical attack, dodge, repeat type of affair; instead, the boss I was supposed to fight turned into a game show host that offered me a set of questions I had to answer correctly to claim the item he was holdin