actors should never quit their day jobs

Especially when they are terrible at it.

According to a few vague quotes in interviews Jessica Alba alludes to being involved in the design of a "non-violent X-Game where you can basically create your own character". This is fucked up on so many different levels I'm having a hard time forming sentences, but I had to record this somewhere so that my future decline into a swirling vortex of insanity can be traced back to this event. Someone hurry up and name the publisher so they can be branded a leper by the gaming community for all time.

I don't even want to speculate what this mystery "extreme sport" is; I'm sure it's whatever is currently airing in between the music commercials on MTV. When you see that this is considered "extreme", can an announcement for a game based on this dexterous display of everyday housework be far behind? I'll bet an actor somewhere with a career in a tailspin is just aching to get involved.

In the 80s, we were inundated with actors that stepped away from the camera in pursuit of short-lived musical careers: David Hasselhoff, Patrick Swayze, Rick Springfield...I'm disgusted with myself that I can actually put that kind of a list together. The embarrassing displays at the Spike TV awards last year showed both actors and music industry personalities wanted a slice of the video gaming scene. Is gaming the fashionable arena for this generation's hip-with-the-times celebrities?

This isn't to say that all actors should avoid the game industry. All you have to do is look back on Escape from Butcher Bay, one of last year's movie-based games that was actually well-produced, had design input from the movie's main actor and stood tall on its own as a game. I cannot hold the same sentiment, however, for the mind-numbingly incomprehensible movie it was based on. The irony!

sort of rotten and insane